BIPOLAR, CREATIVITY AND ALCOHOLISM...

Studies of earlier generations of artists and writers show that they have 18 times the rate of suicide as compared to the general population, 8-10 times the rate of clinical depression, and 10-20 times the rate of bipolar disorder. These studies provide evidence that there is a correlation between bipolar disorder and perceived creativity whether through music, poetry, writings and art. The question now is not whether or not there exists a connection between the two, but why it exists.    One feature in mania or hypomania is the increase in unusually creative thinking and productivity. Manic people often speak and think in rhyme and/or alliteration more than non-manic people. The lifestyles of manic-depressives during a manic episode are comparable to those of creative people. They function on very little sleep, are restless, and they both exhibit emotions. The manic individual perceives life as one without limits. This allows for creativity because he/she feels capable of anything. It is as if the walls, which inhibit the general population, do not exist for the manic person, pushing them to attempt creativity. Many perceive, during an episode, that they understand a part of art, music, and literature, which normal people can not.  This narcissism is characteristic during mania.       The manic state is vastly different to the depressive state in bipolar patients. In their depressed state, they only see gloom and boundaries and most experience feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. It is actually out of this despair that their attempted creativity flows. In many cases this is therapeutic in that it is the only outlet bipolar individual can navigate through their episode of depression.  It is during this time that they can work through their negative feelings. It becomes a anchor to reality and  is often the only way the person with bipolar disorder can cope .    The times of adjustment between the manic episodes and depressive episodes can be difficult. Examining an individuals works of literature or music can reveal which phase of  the disorder they  were in at the time of composition. The manic state and depressive phase are so disorienting that the ideas and delusions that manifest during these episodes are generally organized during the normal times between episodes.  Through this one is able to "map" the phases in each individual.
Co-morbid factors play a role in determining the the onset, length and severity of the depressive and manic phases thus play a variable in the mapping process. The major factor is substance use and abuse. Studies have shown that bipolar disorder is often accompanied with a substance abuse disorder, very often it is alcohol abuse. Typically one would see a maturity in the flood of ideas that are incorporated into the attempted creativity in a bipolar individual in the absence of alcohol.  In the presence of alcohol or other substance, one generally finds a rudimentary primal aspect to the creativity, finding their topics or "centerpieces" hinging around violence, sex, substance use and more profoundly memories of loss from the days of their youth.  I believe this is important because alcohol damages brain development when age of use started at 15yrs old or earlier.  
   Alcoholism is a disease of addiction (which is a chronic, relapsing brain disease), and that alcohol affects the teen brain differently because of the critical brain development occurring from ages 12 through 20, often until age 25.  It was thought in the medical and scientific community  that the brain was fully developed by adolescence. We now know it’s not. There is a critical developmental stage identified as pruning and strengthening that goes on during the teen years and on into college and even beyond. Pruning is when neural connections (called gray matter) that are not used fall away (get “pruned”), and those that are used get strengthened, which makes the remaining neural connections more efficient.  The brain develops from back to front- This means that the portions of the brain that deal with emotion, memory, learning, motivation and judgment are the last to develop and, as such, are the most deeply affected by alcohol (or drug abuse) during ages 12 through 20, often through age 25. For example, if a teen abuses alcohol, the neural connections associated with memories and experiences related to alcohol abuse are the ones that are strengthened and thus embedded. By the same token, neural connections damaged by or not used because of alcohol abuse (those related to learning or judgment, for example) are pruned or not strengthened. This late stage brain development also explains why people who abuse alcohol don't know why they do some of the things they do, and why they take risks they likely would not engage in if they had a fully developed brain and the hindsight (memories and experiences) that go with it. 
    Age of first use, independent of other factors (e.g., genetics, environment, mental health issues such as ADHD, depression, bi-polar, ASPD and PTSD), strongly predicts the development of a lifelong addiction to alcohol.  Individuals who begin drinking before the age of 15 are five times more likely to develop problems with alcohol than those who start after 21.  For each year a teen delays alcohol use, their chances of becoming dependent (addicted to alcohol) drops by 14%.  The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) reports that one-half of alcoholics were addicted by age 21, and 2/3 were addicted by age 25. Okay, enough with the biochem lesson on addiction.
This knowledge is helpful in the mapping model.  Just by observing the creative works- poetry, literature, paintings, drawings, music one can determine if alcohol or other substances began at an early age and consequently continues as an addiction.  The "higher brain or neo-cortex functions" will present as poorly developed or even non-existent.  Their ideas and "creativity" will spawn within their limbic system (reptilian brain) as evidenced as driven by emotion and self-centeredness.  Below is an example of a "poem" as written by a 41 year old male- Type 1 Bipolar with an age of first use of alcohol prior to age 15 and continued use to date. 

"forgit"
 When I look back on this life that I have led
I remember, I can’t forget
My first love my first love indeed
I was in, on fire
From the first moment that we met
The torcher of you love has brought me here this far
Somebody poor me another drink
Somebody poor me another drink...

Somebody poor me another drink

 All of your lies confused the hell out of me
Take another moment make me believe
I remember I can’t forget
Make me believe everything you say to me
My heart is broken I can’t even begin to sleep

 Somebody poor me another drink
Somebody poor me another drink
Somebody poor me another drink

(ends with:  "forgit brought to you by vodka and cranberry")

 

This was written as a result of a depressive episode during which he dealt with thoughts of his ex-wife and their failed marriage as a result of his "issues".  Notice the title is a reference to memories and how the thoughts during his depression brought him to a place of looking back on his life.  The flow is choppy at best... very juvenile in presentation.  More importantly however look at the importance being placed on alcohol.  His entire life has seen alcohol holding a high place of esteem as a consequence of his young age of first use.  It has played a role in the severity of his mental illness and aided as an accomplice in the destruction of his marriage, deterioration of family relationships, history of legal issues, inability to maintain relationships and made it impossible to hold gainful employment. 

Another from the same individual: (states this is a song he has been working on)

"stop"
  do you hear that
that sound that is ringing in your ears
that is your heart beat
it is letting you know that you have realy messed up this time
i know you have been talking
you have been talking alot of shit
it doesnt bother me
but this time you have gone too far...

your headed for a good old fashion
ass beating
their aint no fight for flight
just the hospital emergancy room
boy i hope that you go insurance

do you hear that
that ringing in your ears
its your heartbeat
letting you know
you messed up

 

The flow of ideas in this case materialized in a manic phase.  Notice the focal point being violence.  Again it is extremely juvenile and ridiculous.  The delusion played out in his mind stimulated a sense of well being for the time and place that he was at that moment however it was just a delusion and short-lived.  Reality is far different than fantasy. 

 

Same individual... One more "song that he is working on":

did you see her
walk in the door
everybody stoped
everybody staired
she is the kind of girl
that every man wants
she is the kind of girl
that every woman hates
she's got the hair
she's got the top..

but dam
she's got the ass
the ass that won't quit
maken every man in the house dream about all night long
yeah
she's that kinda girl

 

Again, thoughts manifested during a manic phase... Written the same time of the previous.  The focus once again is a limbic reptilian impulse.... Sex.  Highly adolescent in process and extremely ridiculous.  The three examples focus on drugs, violence and sex.  Reveals alcohol induced damage to the neo-cortex consistent with the results of the scientific research.  Take into consideration Type 1 Bipolar Disorder and abstinence from alcohol, consistent CBT and medicaiton management is necessary to live a productive life.  Otherwise the old saying holds true.... "if you continue doing the same things you will continue getting the same."  In this case more fractured relationships, depressive drunken regrets of marital dissolution, legal issues, and continued cycles of unemployment. 

 

BLUEPRINT OF A SOCIOPATH

Sociopaths are sneaky and will worm their way into your life, despite your misgivings from the beginning. Something about this man is not quite right. You can’t put your finger on it, and you hesitate, but you get sucked into him anyway. These men are charming and can put on an act that wins your sympathy and devotion.


If you have issues of low self-esteem, they instinctively know how to approach you and suck you in.


If you are lonely and needy you are a big target for the man with a sociopathic personality disorder.

He makes you feel special and important. He convinces you they he has been misunderstood all his life, and you are the only one who understands him now. You feel validated and needed by this man, and he sucks you in deeper and deeper over time.

Your first warning was your gut instinct, and that was the time to run away and leave this relationship behind. Unfortunately, you didn’t, and now you are stuck in the hell that is a relationship with a sociopath. We all need to pay attention to the red flags, warning signs, gut instincts. We can learn to recognize the sociopath and never get sucked into him again.

The words sociopathic, psychopathic, and antisocial personality all mean the same thing and are a true mental illness, a psychosis. The three terms are interchangeable and have only different areas of focus such as socialization or criminal behavior. We will use the word sociopath because it is the most recognizable. Psychopaths are often equated with serial murderers, and antisocial is equated with dysfunction. [But the majority of them are MUCH more subtle!] The sociopath is sometimes charming and usually looks and acts normal enough to fool us. All three terms carry the same meaning: a disorder of the personality.
The most important thing to know is that a sociopath has a brain that does not work right. In fact, he is missing a part of his brain. More specifically, he is missing one of the building blocks of his personality. This is important to understand because it explains the seriousness of this disorder and why it cannot be treated or fixed or cured.

The part of his brain that is missing shapes his conscience, and because it is missing, he does not have one. The sociopath does not feel guilt, remorse or shame like the rest of us feel when we do something bad or wrong. He is not capable of feeling guilt or shame because he is missing that piece of his personality. It also means he does not have the boundaries, restraints on his behavior or impulse control that the rest of us do so he will do things that are outrageous, things that normal personalities would never consider doing.
The bad news for you is that this personality disorder cannot be fixed. You cannot fix him, and he cannot fix himself. No therapy or drug can fix this personality disorder because a part of his brain is missing. With long-term therapy some of the symptoms might be lessened, or the sociopath might learn to live more productively in society, but it cannot be fixed. This is why the most important piece of advice for the person involved with a sociopath is to leave. Get him out of your life. Run, don’t walk, away from him and never, ever go back. A good comparison, something to help you understand the medical implications of this disorder, is to compare it to a disease of the eye. Diseases and disorders of the eye can be treated, like glaucoma, astigmatism, nearsightedness, etc., with medicine, eyeglasses, or laser surgery. Color blindness, however, can NOT be treated, because the person is missing the color cones and rods in the eye. A doctor cannot fix what is not there to begin with. This is why the sociopath, with a part of his personality missing, cannot be fixed. No doctor or therapist can put back what wasn’t there to begin with, and the sociopath is missing an actual building block of his personality, deep within his brain.

This explains why you sometimes feel like his brain just doesn’t work right. He lies, uses you, manipulates, bleeds you dry, rages, begs forgiveness, and then does it all over again without any guilt, remorse or shame.
The beginning charm you feel with the sociopath does not last long, because he is putting on a false face to reel you in. He is charming, seems sincere and earnest, makes you feel needed and important, and seems like the real thing, but only in the beginning. Other early warning signs that might alert you to this personality disorder are: lack of friends (he has none); lack of family (he burned them all out and used them up); a history of failed relationships (the other party always wronged him); being secretive (especially about money and his past); acting defensive when questioned about his whereabouts, work, money, or how he spends his time (he is already hiding things from you); criminal history or committing fraud without being charged (his family/friends will often not press charges); underachiever at work (frequently changing jobs); irresponsible spending (he will be spending your money, too, soon!)…..and many other signs, most of which you recognize, but might still be in denial about. Many innocent, trusting women at this point of the relationship think their guy is still an okay guy, he just has some problems that she can surely fix with unconditional love, devotion and support. Beware; if you are at this point, you are in very deep.
By the time this relationship explodes, the sociopath will have done many, many things that leave you bewildered and exhausted. The more supportive you are the worse he treats you. The more understanding you are the more irritable and ugly he gets. This man, your relationship and life are crumbling around you and you still are not even sure why. You are spent, worn out, depressed, anxious, sad, scared, and don’t know how to fix it. You can’t fix it or him. You can only get out and save yourself; that is the truth that I know you don’t want to hear, but it is the truth. You must get out. It is your only option for survival. This personality disorder, in this man you probably love, cannot be fixed.
There are three main things that define the sociopath. They are pathological lying, fits of rage, and being completely self-centered. The hallmark, defining feature that sociopaths have that connects these three things is an astonishing lack of guilt, remorse and shame despite the heartbreak and hardships they cause to others. This man does not feel guilty. He is not ashamed, and he is not remorseful or sorry for what he has done to you or others. He is not sorry for all the pain, disruption and turmoil he has caused for both you and himself. He lacks the brain to be able to feel these emotions, and you cannot make him sorry. He might learn to say he is sorry, because he has been rewarded for saying those words in the past, but he cannot feel it.

Pathological lying about all things, big and small, is the first feature of a sociopath. This man will lie about the most ridiculous things, even when he doesn’t have to and even when he might not want to: he just does. These lies are bewildering because they seem so ridiculous and unnecessary, and they are frightening because of what they stand for: a personality disorder that cannot be fixed. When your man does this, call it what it is: pathological lying.

Fits of rage, the second symptom, often happen when the sociopath is crossed, challenged or questioned. He can’t stand it, and he will take it out on you. He might stomp around and yell, or get violent. Either way, you learn quickly not to question him; in fact, you had better be completely supportive all of the time or he might suddenly turn into a raging person you feel like you don’t know. Before this article you did not know who he was, but now you do. A sociopath with fits of rage.

The third feature is a self-centeredness or devotion to self unlike any you have ever seen. This man sees the world from his eyes only, will always makes sure he gets “his” first, and is constantly plotting against the world who plots against him (in his mind). This feature will allow the sociopath to discard you without a second glance when you no longer suit his needs. He only functions around his needs and wants. He has an overwhelming sense of self that does not allow room for others. This is why you feel so “stepped on” by the sociopath; you were not only stepped on, you were run over!

The hallmark feature that ties these three broad characteristics together is an amazing lack of guilt, remorse or shame for their actions; a complete lack of conscience, and lack of boundaries that prevents healthy people from doing what the sociopath will do easily and without hesitation over and over again! This feature is astonishing when you see it; you can’t quite believe someone is capable of acting the way they do. It overwhelms those involved with the sociopath; it is so hard to comprehend that someone could even do one of these things, much less accomplish the long list of lies and fraud accompanies the sociopath throughout his lifetime.
These are just the broadest definitions of a sociopath. Following are a few of the many characteristics that a sociopath might have: not learning from experience or punishment, emotional immaturity with lack of ability to form relationships, lack of impulse control, lack of morals, and no sense of responsibility. Sociopaths can be reckless, impulsive, substance abusers, financial disasters, and can commit fraud, lie, and abandon loved ones without the blink of an eye. They can be aggressive, are usually irritable, and do not plan ahead nor do they have a life plan or achieve any goals. They stay this way for years despite consequences that are disastrous. They simply discard relationships and move to the next one. They cannot be fixed, not by you, not by me, not by a therapist or doctor, and not by themselves. They seldom even admit they have a problem.

Mental illness is classified into two types: neuroses and psychoses. All of us are neurotic to some degree, and we know we are. That is one important clue. We know we have shortcomings and we work on our problems because personal growth is important to us. The person with an illness classified as a psychosis such as the sociopath can seldom admit he has a problem and will never overcome his illness. He will spend his life lying, cheating, extorting, raging and manipulating, or worse, without guilt, remorse or shame.
This mental disorder cannot be fixed. Medication or therapy might lessen the symptoms, but it cannot be fixed, that is a fact, and these men will ruin your life if you stay.