BIPOLAR, CREATIVITY AND ALCOHOLISM...

Studies of earlier generations of artists and writers show that they have 18 times the rate of suicide as compared to the general population, 8-10 times the rate of clinical depression, and 10-20 times the rate of bipolar disorder. These studies provide evidence that there is a correlation between bipolar disorder and perceived creativity whether through music, poetry, writings and art. The question now is not whether or not there exists a connection between the two, but why it exists.    One feature in mania or hypomania is the increase in unusually creative thinking and productivity. Manic people often speak and think in rhyme and/or alliteration more than non-manic people. The lifestyles of manic-depressives during a manic episode are comparable to those of creative people. They function on very little sleep, are restless, and they both exhibit emotions. The manic individual perceives life as one without limits. This allows for creativity because he/she feels capable of anything. It is as if the walls, which inhibit the general population, do not exist for the manic person, pushing them to attempt creativity. Many perceive, during an episode, that they understand a part of art, music, and literature, which normal people can not.  This narcissism is characteristic during mania.       The manic state is vastly different to the depressive state in bipolar patients. In their depressed state, they only see gloom and boundaries and most experience feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. It is actually out of this despair that their attempted creativity flows. In many cases this is therapeutic in that it is the only outlet bipolar individual can navigate through their episode of depression.  It is during this time that they can work through their negative feelings. It becomes a anchor to reality and  is often the only way the person with bipolar disorder can cope .    The times of adjustment between the manic episodes and depressive episodes can be difficult. Examining an individuals works of literature or music can reveal which phase of  the disorder they  were in at the time of composition. The manic state and depressive phase are so disorienting that the ideas and delusions that manifest during these episodes are generally organized during the normal times between episodes.  Through this one is able to "map" the phases in each individual.
Co-morbid factors play a role in determining the the onset, length and severity of the depressive and manic phases thus play a variable in the mapping process. The major factor is substance use and abuse. Studies have shown that bipolar disorder is often accompanied with a substance abuse disorder, very often it is alcohol abuse. Typically one would see a maturity in the flood of ideas that are incorporated into the attempted creativity in a bipolar individual in the absence of alcohol.  In the presence of alcohol or other substance, one generally finds a rudimentary primal aspect to the creativity, finding their topics or "centerpieces" hinging around violence, sex, substance use and more profoundly memories of loss from the days of their youth.  I believe this is important because alcohol damages brain development when age of use started at 15yrs old or earlier.  
   Alcoholism is a disease of addiction (which is a chronic, relapsing brain disease), and that alcohol affects the teen brain differently because of the critical brain development occurring from ages 12 through 20, often until age 25.  It was thought in the medical and scientific community  that the brain was fully developed by adolescence. We now know it’s not. There is a critical developmental stage identified as pruning and strengthening that goes on during the teen years and on into college and even beyond. Pruning is when neural connections (called gray matter) that are not used fall away (get “pruned”), and those that are used get strengthened, which makes the remaining neural connections more efficient.  The brain develops from back to front- This means that the portions of the brain that deal with emotion, memory, learning, motivation and judgment are the last to develop and, as such, are the most deeply affected by alcohol (or drug abuse) during ages 12 through 20, often through age 25. For example, if a teen abuses alcohol, the neural connections associated with memories and experiences related to alcohol abuse are the ones that are strengthened and thus embedded. By the same token, neural connections damaged by or not used because of alcohol abuse (those related to learning or judgment, for example) are pruned or not strengthened. This late stage brain development also explains why people who abuse alcohol don't know why they do some of the things they do, and why they take risks they likely would not engage in if they had a fully developed brain and the hindsight (memories and experiences) that go with it. 
    Age of first use, independent of other factors (e.g., genetics, environment, mental health issues such as ADHD, depression, bi-polar, ASPD and PTSD), strongly predicts the development of a lifelong addiction to alcohol.  Individuals who begin drinking before the age of 15 are five times more likely to develop problems with alcohol than those who start after 21.  For each year a teen delays alcohol use, their chances of becoming dependent (addicted to alcohol) drops by 14%.  The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) reports that one-half of alcoholics were addicted by age 21, and 2/3 were addicted by age 25. Okay, enough with the biochem lesson on addiction.
This knowledge is helpful in the mapping model.  Just by observing the creative works- poetry, literature, paintings, drawings, music one can determine if alcohol or other substances began at an early age and consequently continues as an addiction.  The "higher brain or neo-cortex functions" will present as poorly developed or even non-existent.  Their ideas and "creativity" will spawn within their limbic system (reptilian brain) as evidenced as driven by emotion and self-centeredness.  Below is an example of a "poem" as written by a 41 year old male- Type 1 Bipolar with an age of first use of alcohol prior to age 15 and continued use to date. 

"forgit"
 When I look back on this life that I have led
I remember, I can’t forget
My first love my first love indeed
I was in, on fire
From the first moment that we met
The torcher of you love has brought me here this far
Somebody poor me another drink
Somebody poor me another drink...

Somebody poor me another drink

 All of your lies confused the hell out of me
Take another moment make me believe
I remember I can’t forget
Make me believe everything you say to me
My heart is broken I can’t even begin to sleep

 Somebody poor me another drink
Somebody poor me another drink
Somebody poor me another drink

(ends with:  "forgit brought to you by vodka and cranberry")

 

This was written as a result of a depressive episode during which he dealt with thoughts of his ex-wife and their failed marriage as a result of his "issues".  Notice the title is a reference to memories and how the thoughts during his depression brought him to a place of looking back on his life.  The flow is choppy at best... very juvenile in presentation.  More importantly however look at the importance being placed on alcohol.  His entire life has seen alcohol holding a high place of esteem as a consequence of his young age of first use.  It has played a role in the severity of his mental illness and aided as an accomplice in the destruction of his marriage, deterioration of family relationships, history of legal issues, inability to maintain relationships and made it impossible to hold gainful employment. 

Another from the same individual: (states this is a song he has been working on)

"stop"
  do you hear that
that sound that is ringing in your ears
that is your heart beat
it is letting you know that you have realy messed up this time
i know you have been talking
you have been talking alot of shit
it doesnt bother me
but this time you have gone too far...

your headed for a good old fashion
ass beating
their aint no fight for flight
just the hospital emergancy room
boy i hope that you go insurance

do you hear that
that ringing in your ears
its your heartbeat
letting you know
you messed up

 

The flow of ideas in this case materialized in a manic phase.  Notice the focal point being violence.  Again it is extremely juvenile and ridiculous.  The delusion played out in his mind stimulated a sense of well being for the time and place that he was at that moment however it was just a delusion and short-lived.  Reality is far different than fantasy. 

 

Same individual... One more "song that he is working on":

did you see her
walk in the door
everybody stoped
everybody staired
she is the kind of girl
that every man wants
she is the kind of girl
that every woman hates
she's got the hair
she's got the top..

but dam
she's got the ass
the ass that won't quit
maken every man in the house dream about all night long
yeah
she's that kinda girl

 

Again, thoughts manifested during a manic phase... Written the same time of the previous.  The focus once again is a limbic reptilian impulse.... Sex.  Highly adolescent in process and extremely ridiculous.  The three examples focus on drugs, violence and sex.  Reveals alcohol induced damage to the neo-cortex consistent with the results of the scientific research.  Take into consideration Type 1 Bipolar Disorder and abstinence from alcohol, consistent CBT and medicaiton management is necessary to live a productive life.  Otherwise the old saying holds true.... "if you continue doing the same things you will continue getting the same."  In this case more fractured relationships, depressive drunken regrets of marital dissolution, legal issues, and continued cycles of unemployment. 

 

SOCIOPATH SAYS: YESTERDAY I WAS.... TODAY I AM.. "NOTHING BUT A LIAR..."

The ASPD(sociopath) main manipulative tactic is pathological lying. One particular individual that is a DSM confirmed, has stated to various women, depending on his hidden agenda, to have worked for an oil drilling company that allowed him to travel all over the world but was "injured" and the company "privately" pays him disability every month. (Not highly likely in that every corporation pays into social security and disability monthly for such occasions). He has stated that he was a nightclub promotor and DJ (the loose truth is that he did assist with music at a small time bar in a tiny armpit town but posting live band ads for the "dive" on MySpace is a far cry from bring a promoter and sitting in a bar drinking does not make one a DJ or anything else for that matter except an alcoholic). Tonight he, when critiquing a music post on Facebook and trying to portray himself as an expert, stated that he had "been around a few days" and that he has worked as a DJ, Roadie, and "owned his own sound company" since 1986 so he knew the style of music would not be received well. Funny thing is, with just a little math reveals that in 1986 he was 16 years old and in high school so how in the hell could he have "been on the road" as a roadie while "working" for the oil drilling company. He has made other claims of more "respectable and lucrative" employment depending on the woman he was trying to manipulate. The delusions of grandeur have led him to claim that he was an actor in three semi-popular movies from the late 80's and early 90's. When "BS" was called on that lie he backpedaled saying he was cast as an "extra". To reveal his open deceit to his "target" at that moment, the companies responsible for casting were contacted to verify or debunk his claim. Each of the three companies were very helpful in that they reviewed meticulous records (IRS data) and reported that he had not been involved in the films to any degree. One representative made fun of his claim stating that "standing behind the rope watching as a spectator as a scene is being shot does not constitute being an extra. Also, looking at his criminal record- the types of offenses and the State/County of arrest and court appearances from 1993 to 2011 (looks more like a career criminal) stands to disprove his claims of all but the karaoke set up he called "DJ" and a "sound company. Couple this with The frequency of his numerous psychiatric hospital admissions (Dorthea Dix and other facilities) and one begins to visualize the depth of his delusions and degree of his dishonesty. Truth be known he receives "disability" only it is due to his psychiatric deficiencies through governmental welfare system.
It is a tragedy that, in the wake of a sociopaths self-centerdness, that people are manipulated and eventually experience loss of trust and well being. The age of social media that society is currently in makes the sociopath a more proficient liar but fortunately it also makes unraveling their web of deceit easier if one only takes the time to thoroughly vet their claims. All liars leave loose ends and the more delusional and arrogant the more loose ends exist. Word of caution.. The more elaborate and sensational the claim, a hidden agenda exists by the one speaking the words.. Reveal to the person your suspicion and watch the anger and "gas lighting" begin. Don't be a victim..

Sociopaths Anthem

The Erythemics? Really? Sweet Dreams are made of These?? you have to be joking!!! Interesting though that a sociopath posts up Merl Haggards A Branded Man only to turn around after a short absence from posting(see cycles mapped) and post a song that states:
"Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused"
Once again a brief lesson in logic to discredit the delusion... No one ways to be used and no one wants to be abused. It is that type of thinking that has found you a 41 year old man who destroyed your marriage, neglected your responsibility to your children, a man who can't hold down a job, has been hospitalized in psychiatric facilities on numerous occasions and has legal rap sheet that reveals your tendencies to use and abuse (assault and battery- numerous to include on a female). It's your identification with the song that shows deep rooted issues that will find you alone as bitter, isolated and disturbed old man.
Yes, "everybody is looking for something" but unfortunately for you they are not looking to be used or abused. Actually they seek the exact opposite of you. It's the world you have made for yourself...
Here's some Lyrics for ya as made famous by the best Rock group of all time... In my opinion should be your anthem...
Led Zeppelin
"Nobody's fault but mine [X2]
Trying to save my soul tonight
It's nobody's fault but mine

Devil he told me to roll [X2]
How to roll the log tonight
Nobody's fault but mine

Brother he showed me the gong
Brother he showed me the ding dong ding dong
How to kick that gong to light
Oh, it's nobody's fault but mine

Got a monkey on my back. [X2]
Gonna change my ways tonight
It's nobody's fault but mine.."

D, it's nobodies fault but yours and your screwed up biochemistry has you so far in left field that you are diluted in that you think yourself to be in center. Such a wasted life made up of lies and dishonor. The days a coming like a freight train...

THE CHALLENGE IS RESPONSIBILITY

The biggest challenge those wtih ASPD and Bipolar disorder have to overcome, after actually admitting they have a mental illness to begin with, is their tendency to simply explain away the illogical, immoral, unethical and painful actions they commit through assigning all blame on the chemical imbalance that is a part of who they are in life. 

Truth is when those with a  mental illness diagnosis such as these refuse to accept that they are held to accountability just as everyone else that takes a breath, they are easily confused and troubled by mild messages they receive from others. If a lack of knowing right from wrong at the time of a mental breakdown has been established, there is diminished capacity according to the law. What is lost in this logic is the damage done to the victims of angry manipulative outbursts or actions based on their desires during an episode.  During such times, jobs are lost, marriages destroyed, families are fractured and even dire crimes committed.  We do not live in a pristine world of black and white, or all or none thinking.   It is the faulty thinking as is characteristic in ASPD and Bipolar disorder to hold to, in the aftermath of harsh words and/or physical assault, the notion that a chemical imbalance is the culprit and is in by no means a fair release from culpability.
    There is much work in healing the breakdown of civility which goes on with those in stressful situations. Even though one may be delusional, their actions may result in pain to another. Aren’t they then responsible for their pain? Too often one is too proud to apologize, feeling it will only supply ammunition to an enemy and will weaken a claim to be the righteous one, the one wronged. This does not lead to understanding. It only increases the gulf already formed.
    Everything negative that happens to one in their life statistically can never be the fault of someone else.  If one breaks a set law, moral or ethical standard then the negative that occurs as a result is not the fault of the other.  It is the fault of the one who broke the law or standard.  So it is important to set the record straight through acknowledging the damage done and in most cases results in the beginning of a dialogue. “I’m sorry you were injured by my actions, or, what occurred between us is regrettable; let’s strive for a better understanding.”
The argument that a chemical imbalance is at the heart of a divide is an over-simplification and an easy way out. If you make a mess, then you have to clean it up. It is your responsibility.  Sometimes it’s just what is needed along with the resolution to learn and accept that a chemical imbalance does not define a person.... Its overcoming the imbalance and taking responsibility for the wrongs and making them right that defines one as a human being. 

Ten Ways to Take Responsibility

1. Be honest with yourself; admit your limitations.
2. Acknowledge your contribution to the misunderstanding.
3. Mentally exchange places with those you’ve harmed and
4. see the situation from their view.
5. See an outsider to mediate a dialogue.
6. Cool down before reacting.
7. Take time before trying to resolve an issue.
8. Recognize the futility of all or none thinking.
9. Seek understanding with goodwill.
10. Educate yourself on the difference between being reactive in the face of an altercation and looking at the aftermath for your opportunity to set things right.
11. Remain open.

I understand that society encourages one to take the path of least resistance.  It is easier to be a victim than to admit that one is at fault and brought the circumstances on themselves.  Its sad to see a person who could have a life as a productive functioning citizen harbor such bitterness and seek to cause so much hurt and pain to others simply because they refuse to take the steps necessary to focus not on their desires but rather on their integrity as a human being.  We are all taught the difference between right and wrong.  To do what is right is a conscious choice and is generally takes the most effort of the two because our desires would lead us to do the wrong thing based soley on our own self centeredness.  Its best to live by the saying, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  If you were in a relationship or married and witnessed your spouse kissing another, how would/did you feel?  If your spouse left you for another because the other sought a relationship with your spouse knowing the marital status, how would you feel?  If someone stole something valuable to you, how would that make you feel?  The answer to all is angry, hurt and sad.  Then dont do those things regardless the circumstances.  Otherwise be prepared for the consequences that will follow you for a long time after.  That's just life- chemical imbalance or not. 

Manic phase again.... ROFL

As I have stated, one can accurately trend the cycles of a sociopath with bipolar disorder simply by watching for patterns.  When they are in their depressed phase, you hardly ever hear anything from them.  They appear to have dropped off the face of the earth but when they are in their manic phase, "whoa Nelly..."  Below is some recent FB posts by a sociopath with bipolar disorder for which he has been hospitalized numerous times over his life).  Either he is manic, drunk or just plain stupid but either way this is roll on the floor till my sides hurt funny and ridiculous: 



"the last few post are of songs that i am working on if theree are any questions and by the way do not pet the buffalo"

Like · · Share · 14 hours ago ·

 

"stop"

"do you hear that

 that sound that is ringing in your ears

 that is your heart beat

  it is letting you know that you have realy messed up this time

 i know you have been talking

 you have been talking alot of shit

 it doesnt bother me

 but this time you have gone too far

 your headed for a good old fashion

 ass beating

 their aint no fight for flight

 just the hospital emergancy room

 boy i hope that you go insurance

do you hear that

 that ringing in your ears

 its your heartbeat

letting you know

you messed up"

Like · · Share · 14 hours ago

 THAT ONE IS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS AND IS ONE OF THE MOST RIDICULOUS THINGS I HAVE EVER READ.  NO MENTALLY HEALTHY 41 YEAR OLD WOULD EVEN CONSIDER THIS TO BE GOOD SONG LYRICS.  SOUNDS LIKE AN IMMATURE TEENAGER.  WOW!  PSYCHOLOGICALLY THOUGH MORE THAN LIKELY THIS WAS A RELEASE THAT FED HIS DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR.  HARNESSED CORRECTLY AND THIS COULD BE A GOOD THERAPY TOOL FOR HIM HOWEVER WITHOUT THE STRUCTURE THAT A THERAPIST AND PSYCHIATRIST WOULD PROVIDE, MORE THAN LIKELY HE ENVISIONED OTHERS IN HIS PAST THAT PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE... THOSE THAT HE THINKS OF AS BETTER THAN HIM AND RECEIVED AN ADRENALINE RUSH PLACING THEM IN THE ROLE AS THE ONE THAT "MESSED UP".  TRUTH BE KNOWN, AS IT IS IN MANY WITH THIS PSYCHIATRIC CONDITION, HE PLACES HIMSELF IN SITUATIONS WHERE HE WAS WRONG GOING IN AND THEN "LOSES" OR GETS "HUMILIATED" WHETHER BY ANOTHER PERSON OR BY A GOVERNING AUTHORITY SO HE IS THE ONE ACTUALLY "MESSING UP".  LOL...

 

"did you see her

 walk in the door

 everybody stoped

 everybody staired

 she is the kind of girl

 that every man wants

 she is the kind of girl

that every woman hates

 she's got the hair

 she's got the top

 but dam

 she's got the ass

 the ass that won't quit

maken every man in the house dream about all night long

 yeah

 she's that kinda girl"

Like · · Share · 14 hours ago

 

OK... MY EYES ARE TEARING UP AS I AM NOW LAUGHING SO HARD.... AGAIN THIS PLAYS INTO HIS NARCISSISM AND DELUSIONS.  THIS "GIRL", IN HIS MIND, WALKS IN AND 'EVERY MAN WANTS' BUT TO TAKE IT FURTHER, SHE CHOOSES HIM.  AGAIN, A SOLID THERAPY TOOL IF USED IN THE CORRECT ENVIRONMENT.  WHAT I SEE HERE IS A MAN THAT IS CONSTANTLY REJECTED.  HE WOULD NEVER GET THE KIND OF GIRL THAT HE REFERENCES.  YES, SHE MAY WALK THROUGH THE DOOR BUT HE WOULD LEAVE ALONE THROUGH THE SAME DOOR DESTINED FOR LOTION AND KLEENEX.  MORE THAN LIKELY TYPED IT SITTING ALONE AT HIS COMPUTER IN HIS UNDERWEAR WITH CHEETO STAINED FINGERS AND CRUMBS ON HIS BELLY.   

 

"though the road may be dark and gray

 you have to hold your head up

 sometimes

sometimes things don't work out

 i would give anyting

anything

to go back to when it was

when it was that i thougt that i was happy

 but that is just what it is

 keeping me from tomarrow"

Like · · Share · 14 hours ago ·

 

THIS ONE SOUNDS A LITTLE LIKE SELF INTROSPECTION... HOW HE WENT FROM THIS TO THE MORONIC "SONGS HE'S WORKING ON" IS A MYSTERY.  FACT IS MANY THINGS "DONT WORK OUT" WHEN A PERSON IS NOT MENTALLY STABLE TO SUPPORT AND MAINTAIN WHATEVER IT IS THAT FAILED.

 

THE REALLY  REALLY SAD PART IS THAT SOMEONE ACTUALLY "LIKED" THEM ON FB.  BIRDS OF A FEATHER I GUESS.  LOL

SOCIOPATHS AND STALKING.

Paradoxically, sociopaths are egomaniacs without pride. Their shamelessness, lack of boundaries and hunger for control often leads them to relentlessly pursue individuals who don’t want them, and who repeatedly reject them. Normal human beings not only don’t desire to stalk others because they have boundaries, but also they would feel too deeply embarrassed and humiliated to continue pursuing individuals who have rejected them over and over again.

This common sense logic does NOT apply to sociopaths. In fact, like in the movie Fatal Attraction and many other films about disordered creepy individuals, sociopaths ESPECIALLY pursue those who don’t want them. Not only directly, through stalking and cyberstalking, but also indirectly, by manipulating other individuals under their control to stalk and harass the targets who have rejected them.

Being social predators driven by the need for power and control, sociopaths can’t take rejection. Like with any predatory behavior, observing, following and stalking the prey is part and parcel of what sociopaths do. Sometimes their harmful behavior is opportunistic, as is the case with serial killers who seize the moment–and their victims–without observing them for an extended period of time in advance. But very often sociopaths plan their actions cold-heartedly and methodically in advance: and not only as they pertain to violent crimes, but also as they pertain to getting anything they want: your money, your body, your heart and/or your life.

At the beginning of the relationship stalking behavior may seem romantic. It’s presented under the guise of not being able to be away from you; needing you all the time, wanting you. However, this constant attention masks the predator’s main intent: to control you and isolate you from others. Consequently, even in the most pleasant and blinding phase of a relationship with a sociopath–the honeymoon phase–dangerous individuals exhibit predatory behavior and traits.

After the victim ends a relationship with a sociopath, this behavior is likely to escalate into downright stalking. This happens for the reasons I have explained in previous articles:

1) sociopaths, being control-driven individuals, can’t take rejection

2) sociopaths, being control-driven, also don’t like to relinquish control over their targets

3) sociopaths, being control-driven, want to WIN. To them, winning means catching their targets into their spider’s nets and destroying them

4) sociopaths, being control-driven, want to exact vengeance and intimidate those who no longer worship them, want them, or obey them blindly.

Notice that the common denominator that explains sociopath behavior is the fact that sociopaths need to be IN CONTROL. They are principally motivated by the need to exercise power over others. Stalking behavior is a common strategy that sociopaths use to intimidate their non-compliant victims and an effort to punish them and regain control. For their victims, this is particularly difficult to deal with because stalking laws vary from state to state and because stalking–particularly cyberstalking–is very difficult to establish under the current laws. Generally speaking, one must establish a pattern of stalking as well as harmful intent and threat to safety: all from the same source/stalker. Since stalkers can be very stealthy and know how to erase their traces, reroute their IP address and easily get new email addresses, it’s not easy to take legal action against a sociopathic (cyber)stalker.

However, I’d advise victims to keep all the emails, texts, Facebook messages and wall posts, phone bills as evidence of (cyber)stalking and share it immediately with the authorities, their therapist, their friends and others. The more evidence is out there which pertains to the harassment, the better your chances become for taking effective legal action against the sociopath and even putting him in jail for his crime. Also I recommend exposing the sociopath by posting scans of the email and message transcripts along with their picture and outcome of criminal background searches with arrest history particularly that involve trespassing, cyberstalking, assault and battery(especially perpetrated on a female), resisting arrest, DWI's on appropriate web sites(cheaterville, playerblock, Jayden Hills) and forums as a warning to others. Any single or combination of the above offenses especially if they occur more than once indicates the sociopaths lack of respect for existing boundaries (legal and personal) plus the assault and resisting arrest is indicative of the "win at all costs mentality". Pay attention as well to any civil judgments, bankruptcy and employment history because the sociopath feels that everything is owed to them and most live a life proclaiming that they are the "victims" and will look to welfare system or disability as primary means of income while they live a nomadic lifestyle- moving from place to place.
As its been said, "the best defense is a good offense!" Expose the sociopath for what he is and utilize the legal system to put him in his place which is a nobody that will never have anything but a miserable life.

Manipulation

I blogged a while ago about mapping tendencies and patterns in a sociopath.  I have noticed when one with ASPD cycles to a self introspection mode they will proceed to attempt to produce poetry while thinking in their mind that they are being intellectual or creative.  This is with the purpose to receive accolades regarding their "creativity" and manipulate as much as it is to prove to themselves that they have a measure of intelligence.  Im not one to ever fault anyone for free expression but in the case of the FB post below, as a professional, I see a mind that is engulfed in a storm of misfiring synapses.  Although short, it expresses the opposite of what I believe the author intended.  The fact is that in no shape or form does an individual with ASPD "see clearly" and very few if any at all recognize the psychological state which they find themselves.  If anything the only truth in this attempted prose is "he cant see through concrete" which in his case is the wall between fantasy and reality.  Between right and wrong.  Between moral and immoral.  He is unable to discern that the place he is in life is a direct consequence of the "wall" or "concrete" as he terms it.  He is unwilling to take responsibility for the actions he has committed that directly or indirectly hurt others in his search for "happiness". 
    This real issue is that ASPD suffers are in a prison of their own design.  Although there exists no cure for the disorder, treatment does exist but his narcissim prevents him from acknowledging that he has a problem.  Multiple psychiatric hosptial admissions(DD) were nothing more than a vacation in his mind for he refused to build on the therapeutic benefit that began through outpatient therapy.  Everyone has the capability to respect established boundaries its just that he like most other sociopaths CHOOSE not to.  He knows the difference between right and wrong but CHOOSES to only follow the path that satisfies his self centeredness irregardless if wrong.  In his case the history of poor decisions has left him living a nomadic lifestyle alone with few true friends, almost non-existent family interaction and a criminal history that prevents any real chance at a career.  Truth be told, he is to be pityed but to do so would be an invitation to be another victim of his manipulating nature and existence.  He will die alone and bitter because of his narcissim that leads him to destroy every relationship and creates enemies of most that have in one way or the other been impacted by his manipulation.  I can not help but think that his post below is nothing more than another attempt to manipulate someone, somewhere to believe he is someone he is not.  

‎"9 million times

Standing in the shadow and light
I find myself
I can see clearly ...

I just can’t see through concrete
I find myself
Standing in the shadow and light"

REVENGE AND CONSEQUENCES

When people choose to pursue a someone or something that they know is immoral or unethical to purse they need to be prepared for the consequences of their choice.  Psychological health really plays no bearing and by no means should ever stand as an excuse.  Too many times do people use a diagnosis in attempt to deflect or subvert consequences.  We see it all the time when people plead "not guilty by reason of insanity".  I have seen attempts to attach labels to the consequences such as revenge.  Most recently and laughably an acquaintance posted some incoherant rambling on that very thing...
"Revenge is a dish best served cold......... Why? Becuase it is a left over that no one wants. It has been sitting in the back of the fridge waiting for the moment that it can be served. There is no gain in revenge. It is a shelfish act. Revenge is a dish that should be served warm. A warmth that invites you in to make you feel comfortable. A warmth that makes you think..... what the hell did I do that for in the first place. One that makes you know that your actions should have never been. Not a eye for an eye. Not do unto others what others do unto you. You may question yourself taking the right road. But nothing worth having comes easy." 
Revenge is defined:

1. To inflict punishment in return for (injury or insult).
2. To seek or take vengeance for (oneself or another person); avenge.
3. The act of taking vengeance for injuries or wrongs; retaliation.

 Consequences do not equal revenge.  Consequences should make one think, "what the hell did i do that for in the first place."  Consequences "are the right road" and the wisdom that having to live through the consequences is not easy and is very much worth having.  Truth is however, in a sick mind one looks at consequences of their wrong decisions and actions whether via law enforcement, employer, friends, family or strangers as revenge. This is a result of the Anti-Social Personality Disorder in which one never takes responsibility for their actions.  The ASPD individual cannot process that their will always be negative consequences for their actions.  If they (rarely) do something good they will gladly accept the praise and will make sure the world knows what they did while in the same breath trying to make an authority(such as police) look evil for not providing assistance for example.  They do something that is social, morally and ethically wrong then when the negative consequences come forward, they will jump, rant and rave that they did nothing wrong and maintain it wasnt their fault.  So much like a toddler in that their brains process the information the same. 
If someone initiates injury or insult then they should expect uncomfortable CONSEQUENCES.  Call it revenge... Call it whatever.... The fact is when you engage in illicit activity expect punishment.

SUB-CATEGORIES AND RATIONAL SELF-INTEREST

“The pursuit of his (man’s) own rational self-interest and of his own happiness is the highest moral purpose of his life.” Ayn Rand. 


Scoiopaths, pure and simple are happy as long as they get what they “deserve”, it doesn’t matter what happens to anyone else or whether through unethical and/or immoral means that they engage to get it.  Looking deeper into the Anti-social Personality(sociopath) disorder it is interesting that the main classification is broken down into five sub-types:

• covetous antisocial – variant of the pure pattern where individuals feel that life has not given them their due.
• reputation-defending antisocial – including narcissistic features
• risk-taking antisocial – including histrionic features
• nomadic antisocial – including schizoid, avoidant features
• malevolent antisocial – including sadistic, paranoid features

Assessing the characteristics of many of the sociopaths that I have experienced being acquainted, they each tend to fall into one of the sub-categories.  Only one that I have had the mispleasure of knowing actually has characteristics of all five.  He is definitely covetous feeling as though the forces of the universe are designed to "short change" him.  He is highly narcissistic in that he frequently states that he, "answers to no one" and from time to time will perform some insignificant act of generosity (from which he is seeking to personally gain if just simply to maintain his facade and further his con on some unsuspecting female) and play it up as if he personally provided a kidney to allow for their survival while highlighting the evils of those in authority for placing the person/people in a hardship.  The Risk-taking antisocial category is interesting and seems to fit him more than the the others especially in relation to histrionic features.  People with HPD have a high need for attention, make loud and inappropriate appearances, exaggerate their behaviors and emotions, and crave stimulation. They may exhibit sexually provocative behavior, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and can be easily influenced by others. Associated features include egocentrism, self-indulgence, continuous longing for appreciation, and persistent manipulative behavior to achieve their own needs.  This would also fuel his motive to occassional "do something for someone else' in search of appreciation.  He routinely posts what I believe he thinks to be "orginial" poetry and writings but are in reality plagerized from no known amateur poets/writers and little heard of song lyrics.  He knows no relationship boundaries and many of his intimate encounters with the opposite and same sex(new little tidbit that made its way to me) begin in bars and clubs.  Also he exhibits strong traits from the nomadic antisocial category to include rare occassions of schizoid behavior that are more than likely instigated via alchol abuse.  He is highly avoidant in that he hides behind alias's and on FB frequently changes the city which he currently resides.  One would think his history of paranoria as is characteristic of the final category of malevolent antisocial would have led him to understand that regardless of what city of residence you choose the IP address used for posting relays the correct city of residence.  He has a long history of sadistic behavior to include assault and battery on females.
So in evaluation, he has characteristics from all groups but he more neatly fits into the risk-taking (with histrionic features) and nomadic ASPD sub-groups.  What a sad existence it must be.  However, even through the disorder, correct choices and decisions can still be made.  The problem is that his covetousness is the strongest characteristic that drives him to believe that he "deserves" whatever he desires and will, without regard for the pain of others, strive to take and do what he chooses.  Then when caught he once again shouts from the roof tops that he is the "victim" and bemoans the individual or authority that stopped and stomped him for his moronic decisions.  Truth is, Ayn Rand's opening quote is an excellent descriptor of a sociopath.  Fact is, even if and when the sociopath is successful in his pursuit of whatever solidifies his moral purpose, he will never be happy.