Sociopath = Coward

You can enter a room and find ways to entertain the guests even though you rather avoid crowds. People are attracted to your sense of humor and charm. You are the life of the party and appear to have your act together. People would never guess that you are very insecure and fearful of rejection. You experience difficulties managing your strong feelings of frustration and anger. You enter relationships with persons that easily submit to your viewpoints and demonstrate blind allegiance. Isn’t a relationship where someone hangs to your every word, deed, a sustainable one? How long can a person demonstrate unconditional acceptance to each of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors? Many with this personality type grew up in environments where emotional, physical, or sexual abuse was present. They were made to feel unworthy of the love of a parent and many times turned to drugs or alcohol to cope with feelings of rejection and insecurity. Like the nurturer/sabotager, the charmer/attacker attempted to find acceptance through peace-making behavior. Many times, he was not successful and found solace from friends, drugs, music, and other moral relative themes. He learned his social presentation from the media and social functions with peers. He found that drug usage helped to alleviate his feelings of insecurity and fear when with others.
Persons addicted to drugs or alcohol can possess many of the personality traits of the charmer/attacker. The charmer/attacker gains a sense of control by keeping relationships with others that unconditionally accepting his behavior. Many times, a nurturer/sabotager is attracted to this personality type due to charmer’s ability to utilize humor, and charm to present to the nurturer that he or she is needed and valued. This is not to say that the charmer/attacker does not need the nurturer. He is very compatible with someone that will avoid conflict and ensure harmony in the relationship. The charmer/attacker usually does not remain committed to one partner in a relationship. Due to drug abuse and/or the lack of substance in his relationship, he is easily lured to one-night stands and other high-risk activities. When these or any of his activities are challenged, he will become aggressive and threatening in attempts to regain control of the relationship. His feelings of insecurity and fear of rejection will be tapped, which will contribute to his pathological responses of projecting blame and making empty promises. His years of hurt and anger will surface in verbal, and physical attacks. He will use intimidation and abusive tactics to deal with relationship problems and force his partner to submit to his will. Initially, he may use his charm and make promises to change his behavior. As his credibility declines, he will revert to psychological and physical tactics to control the relationship. Domestic violence is a common theme in this relationship.
The charmer/attacker is a person that takes from the world to gratify his needs without considering the consequences of his actions. Many anti-social (sociopath) characteristics can be found in this personality type. The charmer wants to world to yield to his needs and performs contrived acts of love and respect to attract others to give him what he wants. He has not internalized the concepts of love, respect, and honesty due to his egocentric views and constant pursuit of self-gratification. Remember, as a child this person was rejected and had turned to other outlets for his needs. He never developed the concept of morality other than what he learned from morally relative themes. His destructive behavior usually continues until he suffers severe life consequences such as incarceration, or near death experiences. The charmer/attacker can be very skilled at presenting a caring and loving message to others but only does so to get what he wants. He may initially reciprocate positive virtuous behavior, but he will perform these virtues less and less as the relationship goes forward.
In relation to challenging his behaviors, once he realizes that he no longer intimidates and his antics such as creative writing attempts are no longer effective or being scrutinized and experiences the negative consequences to physical altercations, he will disappear altogether.  Many instances will find him sinking into a depression because he no longer has "complete" control over situations specifically those that bring the eye of public scrutiny on him.  Further implosion will follow in that close family relationships that he was fortunate to maintain such as with a sister (enabler) will be damaged and communication cut off.  He will remain in the background until such time he feels that the attention that his actions have brought has subsided.    He creates the issues and consequences and in some cases the individuals that are caught and hurt in his deceit, delusions and drive to satisfy only himself stand ready to once again expose him for who he actually is for the remainder of his life.  That is necessary when dealing with a sociopath and is his biggest fear.  The only way to safeguard others is to inform.  Backing down and "forgetting" is what he expects and anticipates so remove those words from your vocabulary while remembering that he is a coward that is dealing with childhood abuse by abusing and disregarding boundaries as an adult.  One reaps what one sows. 

DRAIN BAMAGE....

A continuation of an excellent example of the "First Use Prinicple" and the thought process impediment that is technically brain damage.  Again this is a recent Facebook post of the same 41yr old ASPD and Bipolar male that has had numerous psyciatric hosptial admissions, alcoholic, a significant legal history, inability to maintain relationships, no capacity to maintain gainful employment and has no respect for established boundaries (personal or societal).  If you look closely you will see the flow of his adolescent delusion focused on the "reptialian brain processes" instead of those of the neo-cortex.  His early and frequent use of alcohol and other drugs prevented full development of his brain which complicates his diagnosed disorders. 

"Some nights are made for lying in bed, listening to the rain on the roof
Some nights are made for siting on the front porch, talking about times gone by
Some nights are made for worrying, about what’s going to happen tomorrow
But some nights, Like tonight
Are made for letting go
Getting out and having fun
Bringing life, back to life
Drinking way too much
Smoking way too much
Shaking it out on the dance floor
Waking up in the back seat of the car down by the river
Stuck in the mud, wondering where all of our cloths are
Some nights
Some nights, like tonight
Some nights, like tonight" -- FB post DR...

The things he sees as important to "bring life, back to life" is "drinking way too much", "smoking way to much" and "shaking it out on the dance floor". (lol). (with his beer gut, shaking would turn into wobbling and once going couldnt get it to stop)..  Very juvenile.  Then to go further, "waking up in the back seat of the car down by the river, stuck in the mud, wondering where all  our cloths are".... Must be the white trash version of a good time.  Women that have pride in themselves that I know dont see that as a good time but rather, as one so eloquently put it, "that's the cheap ass sluts idea of a good time.  Would need to see the dr afterwards for a shot of antibiotics".  However, I guess if one is cheap white trash such as he is then it is not hard to fathom them having a good time.  I cant imagine a woman, actually knowing anything about psychology or atleast having pride in herself, would want to associate with a man with this degree of drain bamage.  Sometimes we get to a place where you just have to tell someone, "Grow up, stop being an imbecile.  Your embarrassing yourself through the thoughts in your mind that should never leave your mind.  Your a grown ass man and in trying to portray your life as you see it in your damaged mind only attracts those whose minds are just as damaged." Fact is, a woman who would read the above and want to drink, smoke, shake and wake up with you isnt worth having and not a loss in the adult world.  Stop embarassing yourself, take your medicine and act like the father you have never been. 

REVENGE AND CONSEQUENCES

When people choose to pursue a someone or something that they know is immoral or unethical to purse they need to be prepared for the consequences of their choice.  Psychological health really plays no bearing and by no means should ever stand as an excuse.  Too many times do people use a diagnosis in attempt to deflect or subvert consequences.  We see it all the time when people plead "not guilty by reason of insanity".  I have seen attempts to attach labels to the consequences such as revenge.  Most recently and laughably an acquaintance posted some incoherant rambling on that very thing...
"Revenge is a dish best served cold......... Why? Becuase it is a left over that no one wants. It has been sitting in the back of the fridge waiting for the moment that it can be served. There is no gain in revenge. It is a shelfish act. Revenge is a dish that should be served warm. A warmth that invites you in to make you feel comfortable. A warmth that makes you think..... what the hell did I do that for in the first place. One that makes you know that your actions should have never been. Not a eye for an eye. Not do unto others what others do unto you. You may question yourself taking the right road. But nothing worth having comes easy." 
Revenge is defined:

1. To inflict punishment in return for (injury or insult).
2. To seek or take vengeance for (oneself or another person); avenge.
3. The act of taking vengeance for injuries or wrongs; retaliation.

 Consequences do not equal revenge.  Consequences should make one think, "what the hell did i do that for in the first place."  Consequences "are the right road" and the wisdom that having to live through the consequences is not easy and is very much worth having.  Truth is however, in a sick mind one looks at consequences of their wrong decisions and actions whether via law enforcement, employer, friends, family or strangers as revenge. This is a result of the Anti-Social Personality Disorder in which one never takes responsibility for their actions.  The ASPD individual cannot process that their will always be negative consequences for their actions.  If they (rarely) do something good they will gladly accept the praise and will make sure the world knows what they did while in the same breath trying to make an authority(such as police) look evil for not providing assistance for example.  They do something that is social, morally and ethically wrong then when the negative consequences come forward, they will jump, rant and rave that they did nothing wrong and maintain it wasnt their fault.  So much like a toddler in that their brains process the information the same. 
If someone initiates injury or insult then they should expect uncomfortable CONSEQUENCES.  Call it revenge... Call it whatever.... The fact is when you engage in illicit activity expect punishment.

SUB-CATEGORIES AND RATIONAL SELF-INTEREST

“The pursuit of his (man’s) own rational self-interest and of his own happiness is the highest moral purpose of his life.” Ayn Rand. 


Scoiopaths, pure and simple are happy as long as they get what they “deserve”, it doesn’t matter what happens to anyone else or whether through unethical and/or immoral means that they engage to get it.  Looking deeper into the Anti-social Personality(sociopath) disorder it is interesting that the main classification is broken down into five sub-types:

• covetous antisocial – variant of the pure pattern where individuals feel that life has not given them their due.
• reputation-defending antisocial – including narcissistic features
• risk-taking antisocial – including histrionic features
• nomadic antisocial – including schizoid, avoidant features
• malevolent antisocial – including sadistic, paranoid features

Assessing the characteristics of many of the sociopaths that I have experienced being acquainted, they each tend to fall into one of the sub-categories.  Only one that I have had the mispleasure of knowing actually has characteristics of all five.  He is definitely covetous feeling as though the forces of the universe are designed to "short change" him.  He is highly narcissistic in that he frequently states that he, "answers to no one" and from time to time will perform some insignificant act of generosity (from which he is seeking to personally gain if just simply to maintain his facade and further his con on some unsuspecting female) and play it up as if he personally provided a kidney to allow for their survival while highlighting the evils of those in authority for placing the person/people in a hardship.  The Risk-taking antisocial category is interesting and seems to fit him more than the the others especially in relation to histrionic features.  People with HPD have a high need for attention, make loud and inappropriate appearances, exaggerate their behaviors and emotions, and crave stimulation. They may exhibit sexually provocative behavior, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and can be easily influenced by others. Associated features include egocentrism, self-indulgence, continuous longing for appreciation, and persistent manipulative behavior to achieve their own needs.  This would also fuel his motive to occassional "do something for someone else' in search of appreciation.  He routinely posts what I believe he thinks to be "orginial" poetry and writings but are in reality plagerized from no known amateur poets/writers and little heard of song lyrics.  He knows no relationship boundaries and many of his intimate encounters with the opposite and same sex(new little tidbit that made its way to me) begin in bars and clubs.  Also he exhibits strong traits from the nomadic antisocial category to include rare occassions of schizoid behavior that are more than likely instigated via alchol abuse.  He is highly avoidant in that he hides behind alias's and on FB frequently changes the city which he currently resides.  One would think his history of paranoria as is characteristic of the final category of malevolent antisocial would have led him to understand that regardless of what city of residence you choose the IP address used for posting relays the correct city of residence.  He has a long history of sadistic behavior to include assault and battery on females.
So in evaluation, he has characteristics from all groups but he more neatly fits into the risk-taking (with histrionic features) and nomadic ASPD sub-groups.  What a sad existence it must be.  However, even through the disorder, correct choices and decisions can still be made.  The problem is that his covetousness is the strongest characteristic that drives him to believe that he "deserves" whatever he desires and will, without regard for the pain of others, strive to take and do what he chooses.  Then when caught he once again shouts from the roof tops that he is the "victim" and bemoans the individual or authority that stopped and stomped him for his moronic decisions.  Truth is, Ayn Rand's opening quote is an excellent descriptor of a sociopath.  Fact is, even if and when the sociopath is successful in his pursuit of whatever solidifies his moral purpose, he will never be happy.