Facebook, Lies and oops, Busted.

Thought process of ASPD with Bipolar Disorder in a post on Facebook targeting his ex-wife when she spurned his advances...  Ironic that this individual takes it upon himself to give a lecture about detecting lies.  However, in reality who better than a compulsive liar describing how to detect lies.  I love her response...  it appears that she was just trying to be civil for the sake of the children but in line with his disorder the delusion filled his mind that her openness to simply communicate was indication that she wanted a relationship with him.  The first therapeutic step he needs to take is to look at himself long and hard in the mirror to see that he is actually not who he thinks he is in his dysfunctional brain.  You would think that he would be able to detect the lies he tells himself since he seems to want to  prove himself to be an expert through his post.  But then again... He's mentally ill and all the lies he tells he believes is truth.  Such a shame to be so dysfunctional.

xxxxxx xxxxx--- xxxxxx xxxx xxxxx   08/13/2012

7 hours ago·
We have all been there, believing things that someone tells us to later find out they were lying to you. Once you have been lied to you, you may find yourself wondering if you can ever trust that person or others for that matter again. There are many ways to tell if someone is lying to you. of course in person it is much easer to detect whether someone is lying to you. Here are some tips in being able to tell a liar from one that is telling you the truth in person.

A liar is pretty easy to spot once you know what to look for. So here are ways to spot a liar...

* No eye contact! If the person talking to you does not look you in the eye when they are talking to you then that is a huge sign of betrayal. They may often look at you but not for long. Their eyes will wonder around the room and very seldom actually look at you in the eye.

* Talking faster then normal. Most likely they want to get the lie over with, so they tend to talk faster then normal.

* Standing or even sitting with their arms crossed. This is a protective sign and they may be doing it as to shield themselves from you since they are insecure and know they are lying to you.

* Signs of nervousness. If they are acting nervous and fidgety then it may be a sign that they are being deceptive.

* Picking a fight with you or trying to pass the blame. If the person is defensive and trying to change the subject by picking a fight with you or passing the blame on to you, it may be a sign of deception.

* Body language. Just watching their body movement is a great way to tell if they are being deceptive. Again if they acting nervous by folding their hands and moving around a lot, such as shaking their leg, they are probably lying to you.

* Signs of stress. Since lying is stressful for the person there are signs that you can look for such as dilated pupils. Even a raise in their vocal pitch may be a determining factor that they are lying to you.

* Lack of details in their story. Often liars only think of the most obvious plots to their lie. So if they are lacking a lot of the story and you ask them and you get a response with a lot of pauses then it may be a sign that they are thinking it up as they go along.

When you are on the phone with someone it can be a little harder to tell if someone is lying to you. Using the guidelines from above such as the lack of details and the higher pitches in their voices, make sure you listen to them carefully. Make sure you listen for any inconsistencies in their story in person and on the phone. If their are things that simply do not go together, call them on it. Ask them all the questions that you have. Interrogating them is the easiest way to crack them. once they feel that you are on to them, they may end up breaking and telling you the truth.

You can ask them questions politely and try not to jump to any conclusions. Just try to get the facts in order from them. Many times if someone is lying and you ask them for a simple fact then they may pause and try to think something up. SO if there are plenty of pauses coming from them when they are talking you, it may also be a sign of deception.

listen to your intuition! Many times you have a gut feeling about something, well listen to it, Again do not jump to any conclusions, just simply ask questions nicely and see or listen to their response.

You can simply come out and ask the person if they are lying to you if you are brave enough to handle their reaction. Doing this they may be caught of guard and not know what to say. No matter what you do about the feelings of someone lying to you, do it is a tasteful fashion. DO not blow up and act crazy, simply talk to them and find out why they are lying to you.

Top of Form

LikeUnlike · ·

o    Xxxxxx xxxx xxxxx

Stop sending me messages and posting things on my wall. I have no interest in reading any of this garbage. Anything I may have done to you in the past is completely overshadowed by your actions. There is no hope for a future for us. The most you could hope for is my frienship and you may have blown that too. It's clear to me now that just by rtalking to you gives you reason to believe that there is a chance for us but the glimpse I have just seen is firther convfirmTion that I would rather be happy alone!

SOCIOPATHS AND STALKING.

Paradoxically, sociopaths are egomaniacs without pride. Their shamelessness, lack of boundaries and hunger for control often leads them to relentlessly pursue individuals who don’t want them, and who repeatedly reject them. Normal human beings not only don’t desire to stalk others because they have boundaries, but also they would feel too deeply embarrassed and humiliated to continue pursuing individuals who have rejected them over and over again.

This common sense logic does NOT apply to sociopaths. In fact, like in the movie Fatal Attraction and many other films about disordered creepy individuals, sociopaths ESPECIALLY pursue those who don’t want them. Not only directly, through stalking and cyberstalking, but also indirectly, by manipulating other individuals under their control to stalk and harass the targets who have rejected them.

Being social predators driven by the need for power and control, sociopaths can’t take rejection. Like with any predatory behavior, observing, following and stalking the prey is part and parcel of what sociopaths do. Sometimes their harmful behavior is opportunistic, as is the case with serial killers who seize the moment–and their victims–without observing them for an extended period of time in advance. But very often sociopaths plan their actions cold-heartedly and methodically in advance: and not only as they pertain to violent crimes, but also as they pertain to getting anything they want: your money, your body, your heart and/or your life.

At the beginning of the relationship stalking behavior may seem romantic. It’s presented under the guise of not being able to be away from you; needing you all the time, wanting you. However, this constant attention masks the predator’s main intent: to control you and isolate you from others. Consequently, even in the most pleasant and blinding phase of a relationship with a sociopath–the honeymoon phase–dangerous individuals exhibit predatory behavior and traits.

After the victim ends a relationship with a sociopath, this behavior is likely to escalate into downright stalking. This happens for the reasons I have explained in previous articles:

1) sociopaths, being control-driven individuals, can’t take rejection

2) sociopaths, being control-driven, also don’t like to relinquish control over their targets

3) sociopaths, being control-driven, want to WIN. To them, winning means catching their targets into their spider’s nets and destroying them

4) sociopaths, being control-driven, want to exact vengeance and intimidate those who no longer worship them, want them, or obey them blindly.

Notice that the common denominator that explains sociopath behavior is the fact that sociopaths need to be IN CONTROL. They are principally motivated by the need to exercise power over others. Stalking behavior is a common strategy that sociopaths use to intimidate their non-compliant victims and an effort to punish them and regain control. For their victims, this is particularly difficult to deal with because stalking laws vary from state to state and because stalking–particularly cyberstalking–is very difficult to establish under the current laws. Generally speaking, one must establish a pattern of stalking as well as harmful intent and threat to safety: all from the same source/stalker. Since stalkers can be very stealthy and know how to erase their traces, reroute their IP address and easily get new email addresses, it’s not easy to take legal action against a sociopathic (cyber)stalker.

However, I’d advise victims to keep all the emails, texts, Facebook messages and wall posts, phone bills as evidence of (cyber)stalking and share it immediately with the authorities, their therapist, their friends and others. The more evidence is out there which pertains to the harassment, the better your chances become for taking effective legal action against the sociopath and even putting him in jail for his crime. Also I recommend exposing the sociopath by posting scans of the email and message transcripts along with their picture and outcome of criminal background searches with arrest history particularly that involve trespassing, cyberstalking, assault and battery(especially perpetrated on a female), resisting arrest, DWI's on appropriate web sites(cheaterville, playerblock, Jayden Hills) and forums as a warning to others. Any single or combination of the above offenses especially if they occur more than once indicates the sociopaths lack of respect for existing boundaries (legal and personal) plus the assault and resisting arrest is indicative of the "win at all costs mentality". Pay attention as well to any civil judgments, bankruptcy and employment history because the sociopath feels that everything is owed to them and most live a life proclaiming that they are the "victims" and will look to welfare system or disability as primary means of income while they live a nomadic lifestyle- moving from place to place.
As its been said, "the best defense is a good offense!" Expose the sociopath for what he is and utilize the legal system to put him in his place which is a nobody that will never have anything but a miserable life.

Should You Be Friends With An Ex On Facebook?

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and texting are apart of most of our everyday lives. This means of communication makes it more convenient to keep up with our friends and families. Most of us cannot imagine a world without them. Although it may make it easier to keep up with our social circles, it can also make it easier for us to behave badly.

Have you ever looked up your ex on Facebook? Have you ever gone on their page to see how they are and what they are doing? Have you ever messaged them, poked them or friend requested them? If you did any of these things, did you fill your partner in on it?

Has social media and texting blurred the lines between right and wrong in relationships, particularly where exes are concerned?

That's a question that was recently asked by the QMI Agency for a study.  According to the study's findings, 45 per cent of us are happy to be contacted by an ex on Facebook, and yet the vast majority of us would be angry if our partner befriended their ex. In other words, we're hypocrites. Study responders felt meeting up with someone you've contacted online -- and dated -- is cheating. Additionally, 35 per cent think exchanging photos equals infidelity and 25 per cent say texting goes against relationship rules.  It's no secret social media is known as a relationship wrecker -- lawyers now claim Facebook is mentioned in 20 per cent of divorce petitions. ‘Being in communication with an ex is opening the door to suggestive emails and cheating. It might not happen, but some people just don’t want that door open at all -- and that’s a fair point.

Still, infidelity is subjective and it depends on the couple. For some couples. Cheating is emailing or texting with an ex. For others, it’s having drinks with an ex. Its important to find out the line in your own relationship.  Don’t allow your online friendships get in the way of your real-life relationships.

The Internet is so enticing -- the world is open to you and you can be whoever you want on Facebook -- that people put it ahead of couple time and family time.

Where do you draw the line in your relationship? How would you feel if your partner messaged on Facebook, sent clothed and unclothed pictures via text and communicated via cell phone with any member of the opposite sex let alone an ex?  The way you feel in response to that question is exactly how your spouse will feel as well. 

Manipulation

I blogged a while ago about mapping tendencies and patterns in a sociopath.  I have noticed when one with ASPD cycles to a self introspection mode they will proceed to attempt to produce poetry while thinking in their mind that they are being intellectual or creative.  This is with the purpose to receive accolades regarding their "creativity" and manipulate as much as it is to prove to themselves that they have a measure of intelligence.  Im not one to ever fault anyone for free expression but in the case of the FB post below, as a professional, I see a mind that is engulfed in a storm of misfiring synapses.  Although short, it expresses the opposite of what I believe the author intended.  The fact is that in no shape or form does an individual with ASPD "see clearly" and very few if any at all recognize the psychological state which they find themselves.  If anything the only truth in this attempted prose is "he cant see through concrete" which in his case is the wall between fantasy and reality.  Between right and wrong.  Between moral and immoral.  He is unable to discern that the place he is in life is a direct consequence of the "wall" or "concrete" as he terms it.  He is unwilling to take responsibility for the actions he has committed that directly or indirectly hurt others in his search for "happiness". 
    This real issue is that ASPD suffers are in a prison of their own design.  Although there exists no cure for the disorder, treatment does exist but his narcissim prevents him from acknowledging that he has a problem.  Multiple psychiatric hosptial admissions(DD) were nothing more than a vacation in his mind for he refused to build on the therapeutic benefit that began through outpatient therapy.  Everyone has the capability to respect established boundaries its just that he like most other sociopaths CHOOSE not to.  He knows the difference between right and wrong but CHOOSES to only follow the path that satisfies his self centeredness irregardless if wrong.  In his case the history of poor decisions has left him living a nomadic lifestyle alone with few true friends, almost non-existent family interaction and a criminal history that prevents any real chance at a career.  Truth be told, he is to be pityed but to do so would be an invitation to be another victim of his manipulating nature and existence.  He will die alone and bitter because of his narcissim that leads him to destroy every relationship and creates enemies of most that have in one way or the other been impacted by his manipulation.  I can not help but think that his post below is nothing more than another attempt to manipulate someone, somewhere to believe he is someone he is not.  

‎"9 million times

Standing in the shadow and light
I find myself
I can see clearly ...

I just can’t see through concrete
I find myself
Standing in the shadow and light"

Social Cheating: A Look at Social Media’s Influence on Infidelity

At a rapid rate, the number of couples choosing to divorce because of social media is growing and doesn’t seem to be getting any better.  While social media can be used in a good way to connect people all over the world, it can also be used in a bad way when connecting the wrong people. For example, your ex tries to “friend request” you and innocently starts messaging you, that can lead to flirtatious messaging and very well could be the beginning of an emotional affair.

With the number of affairs arising from social media, this issue is becoming a major challenge for lawyers in court.  According to NerdGraph.com, “81% of members from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reported using or confronting information pulled from Facebook, Myspace, Twitter and various other social networking sites.”

• 66% of that statistic was from Facebook, while 15% was from Myspace and 5% from Twitter.
• “27% of wives use electronic information during a divorce case as opposed to only 5% of husbands.”
• For example, a woman’s husband may have logged onto Match.com and presented that he is single and has no kids, while at the same time he is fighting for custody for the kid he claims he does not have. 
• “1 in 5 adults use Facebook for flirting.”

According to NerdGraph.com, men with performance anxiety or are more easily around are more liking to cheat, while women will cheat more when they are not sexually satisfied. The top Facebook evidences that are used in divorce court are: messages to a person of the opposite sex that are inappropriate, a Facebook friend reporting a spouse’s shady behavior, and both spouses using Facebook to attack each other.

To avoid a social network divorce use common sense. Reconnect without doing something that you may regret, don’t keep secretes from your spouse, keep your social network friends at arm’s length, and don’t hesitate to shut it all down. “While social media can be a fun place to reconnect with old friends and keep up with new and current ones, it can also play a deadly role in a marriage. With so many people online and connecting in new ways, it’s hard to predict just how far this problem with go before it’s routed.”

Projecting and Masquerading.....

A very common description of sociopathic behavior is the inability to connect, especially to people. There may seem like a connection, but there is no bond. Sociopaths often neglect or abandon their families, including their children.  They resent authority, because they believe they should be able to do anything they like, any time they like. They hate being told what to do, and will only cooperate if it furthers their personal plans.  The sociopath will only do for others if their actions benefit them in their plans or affirms a determined opinion or belief they hold.  They will use their action to attempt to establish a similar belief in others and at the same time use it as a cloak to hide their true nature.  Below is exactly one of those attempts.  It is my opinion that the author of the FB rant below is obviously attempting to re-affirm his belief that "the police" are evil and have no regard for people.  Also It is obvious he is saying, "Look at me.. Look what I did... Pat me on the back.... I am such a great person."  So we can see a couple of hidden agendas in this post: 
(copied and pasted directly from FB... Spelling and grammer issues are as authored)
"today i was out and about and when came back outside of the location that i was at. the car next to mine was being towed and a man and his two children were being left there by the police.  turns out that his tags had expired and they were going to take the car and leave him and his children stranded there. it was over twenty miles out of my way but i gave them a ride home.  this is just one more reason that i say fuck the police.
 yesterday i was getting my car inspected and a homeless man came to business location with a duffel bag on his back a small dog that looked like a starving benji and a orange safty vest on. he begain yelling that the fbi had put a gps device in his head. skizo without a doubt. i called the police due to his mindset and that he may become vilolent, you never know what a person with a gps device in their head might do.  so i called the police took twenty minutes to get there. when they did the officer said that they had been having alot of problems with him latley.  i on the other hand see that we are having quite alot of problems with the police. the man is out of his mind. they have been having alot of problems with him, yet they can not seem to get the picture that the man needs medical care. though it may be against his will since they put a gps unit in his head. anyone could see that he needs help but they told him to leave and he did. the police came over and appoligized to us for the mans actions, though they sould have done so for theirs.  just one more reason that i say fuck the police.”

Let me say this, I am not a fan of many of the policies and procedures of law enforcement.  I know that the police have a job to do and as residents in this country we are expected to be aware of the established laws.  We all have a duty and obligation to do everything in our power to follow those established laws and if we fail to do so then we are aware that consequences do exist and should be prepared to accept them.  Afterall for whatever reason we chose to disobey the regulation.  Now as related to the above post, The police are not a taxi service.  This man chose to allow his tags to expire.  Maybe he couldn't afford to pay the taxes or insurance to have them renewed which is becoming more and more frequent in this economy.  Maybe he just forgot which does happen.  In any case, he had to know his tags were expired and operating that vehicle was AGAINST THE LAW but he voluntarily chose to break the law and the authorities had every right to ensure that the vehicle wasnt going to be used further to continue to break the law by towing it until such time as 'the man" had taken care of his obligation to maintain the vehicle appropriately.  Also, insurance will not cover an accident once they are made aware the registration was expired so the police were doing their job which is to protect the public from hazards.  It is not like it is the dead of winter with 30 below zero windchill and the police were leaving the man and his children to extreme elements which was life threatening.  I am sure that he had family and/or friends that he could have contacted to come and provide transportation.  So the author used this situation to demonize the police to re-affirm his hatred of authority (as most sociopaths) because of his history of experiencing consequences of BREAKING THE LAW.
I preface the examination of the 2nd half of his attempt to justify his beliefs with this: Psychiatric care is severely lacking in this country.  A large percentage of the population is suffering and the number of care providers is dwindling thus making a bad problem worse.  "GPS man" truely suffers a severe mental illness that has obviously made it impossible for him to lead a normal and productive life.  It is a tragedy.  I am surprised however that the author would use this as an instance to lash out at police being that with his personal psychiatric history he should be very much aware that in order to receive psychiatric assistance one has to voluntarily seek said services or either be a danger to oneself or others leading to involuntary committment.  It is not a crime to be delusional as "GPS man" appeared to be.  It is sad but does not make him a threat.  When someone is "agitated" and delusional, many times it as simple as speaking calmly with them to alleviate their fear.  Many are just looking for someone to talk with... Someone to listen.  The police in this situation did all they could and sounds as though their speaking with him achieved the desired response... "GPS man" went about his way.  The policeman even "apologized" to the citizens for "GPS man's" behaviour which he was not obligated to do.  It is obvious that the author's disdain for authority due to his sociopathic nature clouds every situation where law enforcement is involved.  It is a shame that the author's mind is do dysfunctional that he has developed such hatred simply because he has had to experience the consequences of his criminal activities. 
 I for one applaud and am thankful for the men and women who put their lives on the line to protect and serve.  Of course though, Im in my "right mind" and do my best to obey the laws of man.