SOCIOPATHS AND STALKING.

Paradoxically, sociopaths are egomaniacs without pride. Their shamelessness, lack of boundaries and hunger for control often leads them to relentlessly pursue individuals who don’t want them, and who repeatedly reject them. Normal human beings not only don’t desire to stalk others because they have boundaries, but also they would feel too deeply embarrassed and humiliated to continue pursuing individuals who have rejected them over and over again.

This common sense logic does NOT apply to sociopaths. In fact, like in the movie Fatal Attraction and many other films about disordered creepy individuals, sociopaths ESPECIALLY pursue those who don’t want them. Not only directly, through stalking and cyberstalking, but also indirectly, by manipulating other individuals under their control to stalk and harass the targets who have rejected them.

Being social predators driven by the need for power and control, sociopaths can’t take rejection. Like with any predatory behavior, observing, following and stalking the prey is part and parcel of what sociopaths do. Sometimes their harmful behavior is opportunistic, as is the case with serial killers who seize the moment–and their victims–without observing them for an extended period of time in advance. But very often sociopaths plan their actions cold-heartedly and methodically in advance: and not only as they pertain to violent crimes, but also as they pertain to getting anything they want: your money, your body, your heart and/or your life.

At the beginning of the relationship stalking behavior may seem romantic. It’s presented under the guise of not being able to be away from you; needing you all the time, wanting you. However, this constant attention masks the predator’s main intent: to control you and isolate you from others. Consequently, even in the most pleasant and blinding phase of a relationship with a sociopath–the honeymoon phase–dangerous individuals exhibit predatory behavior and traits.

After the victim ends a relationship with a sociopath, this behavior is likely to escalate into downright stalking. This happens for the reasons I have explained in previous articles:

1) sociopaths, being control-driven individuals, can’t take rejection

2) sociopaths, being control-driven, also don’t like to relinquish control over their targets

3) sociopaths, being control-driven, want to WIN. To them, winning means catching their targets into their spider’s nets and destroying them

4) sociopaths, being control-driven, want to exact vengeance and intimidate those who no longer worship them, want them, or obey them blindly.

Notice that the common denominator that explains sociopath behavior is the fact that sociopaths need to be IN CONTROL. They are principally motivated by the need to exercise power over others. Stalking behavior is a common strategy that sociopaths use to intimidate their non-compliant victims and an effort to punish them and regain control. For their victims, this is particularly difficult to deal with because stalking laws vary from state to state and because stalking–particularly cyberstalking–is very difficult to establish under the current laws. Generally speaking, one must establish a pattern of stalking as well as harmful intent and threat to safety: all from the same source/stalker. Since stalkers can be very stealthy and know how to erase their traces, reroute their IP address and easily get new email addresses, it’s not easy to take legal action against a sociopathic (cyber)stalker.

However, I’d advise victims to keep all the emails, texts, Facebook messages and wall posts, phone bills as evidence of (cyber)stalking and share it immediately with the authorities, their therapist, their friends and others. The more evidence is out there which pertains to the harassment, the better your chances become for taking effective legal action against the sociopath and even putting him in jail for his crime. Also I recommend exposing the sociopath by posting scans of the email and message transcripts along with their picture and outcome of criminal background searches with arrest history particularly that involve trespassing, cyberstalking, assault and battery(especially perpetrated on a female), resisting arrest, DWI's on appropriate web sites(cheaterville, playerblock, Jayden Hills) and forums as a warning to others. Any single or combination of the above offenses especially if they occur more than once indicates the sociopaths lack of respect for existing boundaries (legal and personal) plus the assault and resisting arrest is indicative of the "win at all costs mentality". Pay attention as well to any civil judgments, bankruptcy and employment history because the sociopath feels that everything is owed to them and most live a life proclaiming that they are the "victims" and will look to welfare system or disability as primary means of income while they live a nomadic lifestyle- moving from place to place.
As its been said, "the best defense is a good offense!" Expose the sociopath for what he is and utilize the legal system to put him in his place which is a nobody that will never have anything but a miserable life.

Should You Be Friends With An Ex On Facebook?

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and texting are apart of most of our everyday lives. This means of communication makes it more convenient to keep up with our friends and families. Most of us cannot imagine a world without them. Although it may make it easier to keep up with our social circles, it can also make it easier for us to behave badly.

Have you ever looked up your ex on Facebook? Have you ever gone on their page to see how they are and what they are doing? Have you ever messaged them, poked them or friend requested them? If you did any of these things, did you fill your partner in on it?

Has social media and texting blurred the lines between right and wrong in relationships, particularly where exes are concerned?

That's a question that was recently asked by the QMI Agency for a study.  According to the study's findings, 45 per cent of us are happy to be contacted by an ex on Facebook, and yet the vast majority of us would be angry if our partner befriended their ex. In other words, we're hypocrites. Study responders felt meeting up with someone you've contacted online -- and dated -- is cheating. Additionally, 35 per cent think exchanging photos equals infidelity and 25 per cent say texting goes against relationship rules.  It's no secret social media is known as a relationship wrecker -- lawyers now claim Facebook is mentioned in 20 per cent of divorce petitions. ‘Being in communication with an ex is opening the door to suggestive emails and cheating. It might not happen, but some people just don’t want that door open at all -- and that’s a fair point.

Still, infidelity is subjective and it depends on the couple. For some couples. Cheating is emailing or texting with an ex. For others, it’s having drinks with an ex. Its important to find out the line in your own relationship.  Don’t allow your online friendships get in the way of your real-life relationships.

The Internet is so enticing -- the world is open to you and you can be whoever you want on Facebook -- that people put it ahead of couple time and family time.

Where do you draw the line in your relationship? How would you feel if your partner messaged on Facebook, sent clothed and unclothed pictures via text and communicated via cell phone with any member of the opposite sex let alone an ex?  The way you feel in response to that question is exactly how your spouse will feel as well. 

Social Cheating: A Look at Social Media’s Influence on Infidelity

At a rapid rate, the number of couples choosing to divorce because of social media is growing and doesn’t seem to be getting any better.  While social media can be used in a good way to connect people all over the world, it can also be used in a bad way when connecting the wrong people. For example, your ex tries to “friend request” you and innocently starts messaging you, that can lead to flirtatious messaging and very well could be the beginning of an emotional affair.

With the number of affairs arising from social media, this issue is becoming a major challenge for lawyers in court.  According to NerdGraph.com, “81% of members from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reported using or confronting information pulled from Facebook, Myspace, Twitter and various other social networking sites.”

• 66% of that statistic was from Facebook, while 15% was from Myspace and 5% from Twitter.
• “27% of wives use electronic information during a divorce case as opposed to only 5% of husbands.”
• For example, a woman’s husband may have logged onto Match.com and presented that he is single and has no kids, while at the same time he is fighting for custody for the kid he claims he does not have. 
• “1 in 5 adults use Facebook for flirting.”

According to NerdGraph.com, men with performance anxiety or are more easily around are more liking to cheat, while women will cheat more when they are not sexually satisfied. The top Facebook evidences that are used in divorce court are: messages to a person of the opposite sex that are inappropriate, a Facebook friend reporting a spouse’s shady behavior, and both spouses using Facebook to attack each other.

To avoid a social network divorce use common sense. Reconnect without doing something that you may regret, don’t keep secretes from your spouse, keep your social network friends at arm’s length, and don’t hesitate to shut it all down. “While social media can be a fun place to reconnect with old friends and keep up with new and current ones, it can also play a deadly role in a marriage. With so many people online and connecting in new ways, it’s hard to predict just how far this problem with go before it’s routed.”