Facebook, Lies and oops, Busted.

Thought process of ASPD with Bipolar Disorder in a post on Facebook targeting his ex-wife when she spurned his advances...  Ironic that this individual takes it upon himself to give a lecture about detecting lies.  However, in reality who better than a compulsive liar describing how to detect lies.  I love her response...  it appears that she was just trying to be civil for the sake of the children but in line with his disorder the delusion filled his mind that her openness to simply communicate was indication that she wanted a relationship with him.  The first therapeutic step he needs to take is to look at himself long and hard in the mirror to see that he is actually not who he thinks he is in his dysfunctional brain.  You would think that he would be able to detect the lies he tells himself since he seems to want to  prove himself to be an expert through his post.  But then again... He's mentally ill and all the lies he tells he believes is truth.  Such a shame to be so dysfunctional.

xxxxxx xxxxx--- xxxxxx xxxx xxxxx   08/13/2012

7 hours ago·
We have all been there, believing things that someone tells us to later find out they were lying to you. Once you have been lied to you, you may find yourself wondering if you can ever trust that person or others for that matter again. There are many ways to tell if someone is lying to you. of course in person it is much easer to detect whether someone is lying to you. Here are some tips in being able to tell a liar from one that is telling you the truth in person.

A liar is pretty easy to spot once you know what to look for. So here are ways to spot a liar...

* No eye contact! If the person talking to you does not look you in the eye when they are talking to you then that is a huge sign of betrayal. They may often look at you but not for long. Their eyes will wonder around the room and very seldom actually look at you in the eye.

* Talking faster then normal. Most likely they want to get the lie over with, so they tend to talk faster then normal.

* Standing or even sitting with their arms crossed. This is a protective sign and they may be doing it as to shield themselves from you since they are insecure and know they are lying to you.

* Signs of nervousness. If they are acting nervous and fidgety then it may be a sign that they are being deceptive.

* Picking a fight with you or trying to pass the blame. If the person is defensive and trying to change the subject by picking a fight with you or passing the blame on to you, it may be a sign of deception.

* Body language. Just watching their body movement is a great way to tell if they are being deceptive. Again if they acting nervous by folding their hands and moving around a lot, such as shaking their leg, they are probably lying to you.

* Signs of stress. Since lying is stressful for the person there are signs that you can look for such as dilated pupils. Even a raise in their vocal pitch may be a determining factor that they are lying to you.

* Lack of details in their story. Often liars only think of the most obvious plots to their lie. So if they are lacking a lot of the story and you ask them and you get a response with a lot of pauses then it may be a sign that they are thinking it up as they go along.

When you are on the phone with someone it can be a little harder to tell if someone is lying to you. Using the guidelines from above such as the lack of details and the higher pitches in their voices, make sure you listen to them carefully. Make sure you listen for any inconsistencies in their story in person and on the phone. If their are things that simply do not go together, call them on it. Ask them all the questions that you have. Interrogating them is the easiest way to crack them. once they feel that you are on to them, they may end up breaking and telling you the truth.

You can ask them questions politely and try not to jump to any conclusions. Just try to get the facts in order from them. Many times if someone is lying and you ask them for a simple fact then they may pause and try to think something up. SO if there are plenty of pauses coming from them when they are talking you, it may also be a sign of deception.

listen to your intuition! Many times you have a gut feeling about something, well listen to it, Again do not jump to any conclusions, just simply ask questions nicely and see or listen to their response.

You can simply come out and ask the person if they are lying to you if you are brave enough to handle their reaction. Doing this they may be caught of guard and not know what to say. No matter what you do about the feelings of someone lying to you, do it is a tasteful fashion. DO not blow up and act crazy, simply talk to them and find out why they are lying to you.

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o    Xxxxxx xxxx xxxxx

Stop sending me messages and posting things on my wall. I have no interest in reading any of this garbage. Anything I may have done to you in the past is completely overshadowed by your actions. There is no hope for a future for us. The most you could hope for is my frienship and you may have blown that too. It's clear to me now that just by rtalking to you gives you reason to believe that there is a chance for us but the glimpse I have just seen is firther convfirmTion that I would rather be happy alone!

Leopard Cant Change His Spots.

What is the one thing a sociopath does not want other people to know? The truth. More specifically, sociopaths do not want the truth about them to be known as they are insecure, malicious, and devious people. Beyond being embarrassed by the truth of their behaviors and thoughts, they have a deathly fear of being exposed and rejected. That’s in large part because they use lies, manipulations, and distortions to control other people and get what they want. If others were to know about their true nature, they realize that most would want nothing to do with them. They would lose the support networks of malicious minions they control and incite to abuse other people. Therefore sociopaths have a strong motivation to attack, discredit, harass, and ruin anybody who presents arguments and facts that might tend to raise questions and doubts about their behaviors and their false statements.

Sociopaths Experts At Blaming Others, Greatly Fear Being Blamed

Nobody likes to be blamed, but a responsible person will accept blame for something appropriate. Sociopaths don’t like to accept blame for anything, even if it is well-earned. While part of this is likely from their typically narcissistic “I’m better than you” and “rules don’t apply to me” attitudes, there’s more to it than that. They may realize that blaming is how they control others to harm the targets they viciously attack, often family members or former love interests. They understand both the destructive and defensive powers of blaming and make regular use of both.
Sociopaths may be especially cognizant of the risk that people whom they have used to abuse others might even turn against them, especially those who might be greatly angered by how they were manipulated into participating in destructive and harmful activities against others. People like to blame others. While sociopaths do it with extraordinary intensity and dishonesty, the people they manipulate are likely to do it, too. After all, a sociopath was able to manipulate them into unjustly attacking a former partner, a child’s other parent, teacher, doctor, counselor, therapist, or some other party the sociopath doesn’t like and that clearly demonstrates they are the sort of people who are into blaming others. Who is to say they won’t turn and attack the sociopath when they realize how they were used?
Blame-shifting is one of the most common means of “self-defense” used by abusers and it can readily be used for offensive purposes, too. Many budding sociopaths in the making learn to do blame-shifting with great skill from being abused themselves and wanting to escape it. Blame-shifting, framing, and false accusations are mainstay abuse tactics for sociopaths.
Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse is often very subtle and pervasive. As such, it can escape notice until it has done a lot of damage to its victims. Emotional abusers tend to be domineering, controlling, and refuse to consider the opinions or feelings of others. Many would describe them as being incapable of empathy. They seldom admit to making mistakes, rarely or never apologize for anything, and may resort to blame-shifting when in a situation in which it is very clear they did make a mistake and owe somebody else an apology.
Because of the sociopaths nature, they are skilled at the art of lying.  Even to the point that at times they will fool themselves into believing the embellishments that they tell as truth.  They will turn your attempts to get to the truth around and utilize "gas lighting" in attempt to make you doubt your doubt. He will proceed to attempt to place himself in a seat of superiority by trying to "educate" you on how to recognize a lie coming from a person.  The sociopath is by nature, a liar, and most have been relying on this skill since teenage years to manipulate how others view them.  In times of stress, the lies get larger and the attempt to "gas light" become more frequent.  All because the sociopath knows that the web of manipulation they have worked to create is in danger of crashing down on them.  Truth is however, no matter how insistant he is that he has "changed", he cannot change his nature just as a leopard cant change their spots.  Psychiatric treatment can decrease the frequency of his negative actions but he will forever be a sociopath and liar.