Always the Victim

Humility is define as the state or quality of being humble; freedom from pride and arrogance; lowliness of mind; a modest estimate of one's own worth; a sense of one's own unworthiness through imperfection and sinfulness; self-abasement; humbleness.

Being humble is difficult because we are born to be full of pride.  We are conditioned growing up to be the best at sports, in the class room, best behaved, etc.  When we succeeded in being "good at" or "the best" (in the subjective opinions from those we valued) we were rewarded and recognized leading to feeling pride.  Every human being, no matter how much they proclaim to not be prideful, holds one or more strongholds that says otherwise (just the very act of proclaiming to be free of pride in itself shows itself to be a prideful stronghold).  I am not delusional to think that I am without pride.  I take pride in saying that I am humble.  Let me explain.  In the definition above it says "a sense of one's own unworthiness through imperfection and sinfulness.  I am perfectly imperfect.  I also subscribe to the idea that being humble is a place one comes to when they realize that they are capable of anything in any given circumstance at any given time.  Take for example, some people are arrogant enough to boast that they would under no circumstance take the life of another. Afterall, "Thou Shalt Not Kill" is one of the "Big Ten".  In being humble, I cant make the same claim.  Under the right or "wrong" circumstance such as someone attacking my family, I know in my heart that I could not stand by the "never taking another life" statement.  I know that i have the capacity to end the attack and would take whatever steps are necessary to do just that whether a physical attack or an attack against the sanctity of the marriage and family. 

I am humble and proudfully so. 

Its important for all of us to take an "accurate inventory of who we are, what we stand for, where we have been, where we are, and where we intend to be".  Sometimes doing so is not a pleasant exercise... Many times it is very painful to replay our mistakes, examine our current circumstances(broken relationships with friends and family) and determine what we must do to repair the damage we have self-inflicted through selfish decisions in our life.  A phrase I often use in training at the gym is "pain is weakness leaving the body".  No one can get to where they want to be without first dealing with the pain either they have received or caused in their life.  Many people internalize it and will always be a "victim" in their own mind.  Truth is, if we do "the right things" according to societal norms and stop being so prideful to think that what "we" want as individuals gives us the right to hurt others and make "ammends" for the wrongs we have perpetrated then we can all move on and live a healthier psychological, emotional, physical and spiritual existence.  Otherwise, you will never be where you want to be and will forever be a "victim".