JUST MAKES NO SENSE... And don't even realize it!

Take a deep look into the world around you.  I mean really look... Don't just glance and briefly observe the people, places and things that surround you day to day.  I have been doing just that the past month with a purpose.  It's one thing to just accept the state that this country finds itself in but it's entirely another to attempt to understand why it is the way it is.  My observations are as follows: 

1.  People that don't have any appreciable means of income, those that are unemployed by choice sit around all day on Facebook and post ridiculous delusions and fantasies by means of a computer or their smartphone. The fact that they do so is not the issue... The issue is that they have the tools to do so while some who are out of work due to layoffs or other reasons that are no fault of their own struggle to find a job to simply keep a roof over their head and food on the table.  Why is that?  Those who choose to not work have made it their job to live off the system.  They know how to play, milk and make permanent the aid designed to be temporary.  A person who works and has health insurance is responsible for anywhere from $250 to $500 for a visit to an emergency room while the "leech" uses the emergency room as a clinic and thanks to the public assistance given to them pays zero.  They are rewarded for not working.  It's to the point that in many instances it is more profitable to not work.  

2.  People with mental illness have fallen through the cracks (many have found how to take advantage of the system by petitioning for and receiving disability checks every month) and do not seek or continue treatment.  Once they get the lifetime benefit they will not follow the treatment plan that was established and maintained while seeking disability.  So what do they do??? They don't take the medication prescribed instead opting for beer, whiskey, wine, marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamine, etc.  anything and everything that exacerbates their condition. During which time they cycle between depression (many times ending up in the ER following an accidental overdose or suicide attempt) and mania (what's one to expect when introducing a stimulant??  This finds them being destructive- driving while under the influence, fighting, stealing, etc that finds them arrested and incarcerated).  Both cost the system (aka: tax payer dollars).  Oh and they sit on Facebook all day typing out their delusion and fantasies.  

3.  Politicians are self-centered and clueless (highly functioning mental illness).  They do and say whatever it takes to exploit the system (voters) to give them a job and then they waste millions of dollars and tell billions of lies to make sure they continue to take advantage of the system (job paid through tax payer dollars).

4.  Millions of people from other countries come into this country illegally because the welfare system in America provides a far better living than they could obtain through working in their country of citizenship.  They take the jobs that the Americans referenced above (1 and 2) could do but choose not to.  Many times the jobs pay in cash (the employer not paying into the tax system and the employee not paying into the system) and they send most of their earned money to family in their home country thus taking it out of the U.S. economy.  While doing this they get a fake ID and exploit the public assistance afforded to citizens of this country. I am not racist and have no problem with people coming to this country to make a better life LEGALLY.  Work, pay taxes and if need help then so be it.  I cannot respect anyone who looks to take shortcuts or cheats the system.  

The above is just the tip of the iceberg.  It frustrates me that those who want to work and not rely on charity struggle and those who could care less about making their own way live well.  It just makes no sense.... And most get so caught up in their day to day struggles that they don't even realize it.  It's shameful!!!

Wake up and smell the coffee- Bipolar and Alcoholism

Alcoholism/Substance abuse and bipolar disorder commonly co-occur.  Studies have indicated they co-occur at higher than expected rates which explains the epidemic of narcotic/illicit substance addiction, alcoholism, poly-pharm abuse, broken homes, increased unemployment statistics and overdose death rates.  

In my professional and personal encounters I have personally witnessed the devastation bi-polar disorder exacerbated by substance abuse brings to the life of the individual and their family.  I have found that the mood swings and poor impulse control leads the individual to find a pathway to modulate their dysfunctional brain chemistry.  One person that I am acquainted with personally, has chosen alcohol and illicit drugs in attempt to cope.  His alcohol use began at or around age 15 and has progressed to the present that finds most of his waking hours consumed with thoughts and actual use of alcohol.  His life is riddled with broken relationships, legal issues, poor employment history and numerous psychiatric hospitalizations.  I am most intrigued as to how the two disorders interact to completely blind him to the cumulative effect of each on the other and the direct cause and effect relationship to the many issues in his life. The overt function of his mental illness creates a delusional existence in which he is always the victim and he has formed elaborate falsehood justifications for every negative consequence in his life. 

   it's fairly obvious that the introduction of mind altering chemicals into the brain doesn't exactly help to sustain mental stability. With almost all recreational drugs there is some kind of "high" associated with experience. That's why people do it. But following any substance induced high, there's almost always the experience of coming down. And usually that translates into a "low" mood feeling.

   Drinking a beer or glass of wine has been scientific proven to present some positive health benefits and is not an issue if one is able to apply good judgment and adequate impulse control. The problem is that everyone with bipolar disorder intermittently becomes hypomanic or manic. It's what defines the diagnosis. And in these elevated mood states, bipolar individuals almost always experience some degree of impaired impulse control. During the elevated mood phase they're usually feeling up, energized, gregarious, cognitively accelerated and creative.  The problem is that once their mood extends above the mildly elevated range, they often lose the capacity to modulate or turn down their mood-related intensity. It's like the wheels of hypomania become lubricated and they keep picking up speed.  That's what's wrong with alcohol-related disinhibition. It further greases the wheels of elevated mood. The challenge faced by those with bipolar disorder is one of figuring out how to do the opposite. They've got to become skillful at applying the brakes and slowing back down to a healthy speed.  To do so however, they have to show some degree of desire to change and begins with not introducing alcohol or other mind-altering substances outside of their psychiatrist prescribed medication designed to assist them in obtaining stability.  Then the real work begins- re-integrating back into normal society and repairing all the damage done through their self-centeredness.

Karma and Impulsive Behavior

Karma can be defined as the total effect of one's actions. A given cause will lead to an action and will have a given effect. For example, being envious and coveting the spouse of another (cause), will cause a negative action (effect) more than likely from the offended person but definitely in some area of the offenders life. The offender, when suffering a mental illness (statistics prove the majority that seek to destroy anothers marital relationship are mentally ill), generally take the "victim" role and proceed to make other bad choices in response to the negative consequences experienced.  In light of this, the offender becomes trapped in 
their own karmic web. Constantly being formed by the cause and effect of their actions.  Whether they choose to over-indulge in alcohol and other substances, seek to ignore societal boundaries and find themselves on a path of numerous legal issues, alienating their family through their decisions, all will mesh together to find the offender continually denying their responsibility and creating a delusional existence justifying their negative actions.  This path is characteristic of sociopathology and borderline personality disorder.  Imagine if you would how Hollywood depicts the classic mental hospital scene- patients sitting in a room, some painting, some sitting around tables with crayons, others sitting staring blankly through barred windows.  Each patient pictured is engaging in the form of self-expression (coping strategy) that they have chosen to bring their unhealthy delusions into existence in a safe manner.  Each person, prior to being hospitalized, has a story of those same delusions being acted out and most in a destructive manner.  I have blogged in the past about how mental illness, specifically Border-line and sociopathic disorders, will bring about a level of perceived creativity in the sufferer.  Many times the creativity is therapeutic as long as the mindset isn't one of denial.  If the sufferer has not atoned for their wrong doings and they justify themselves as a victim then karma continues to feed their negative existence. 

One can escape karma no more than they can gravity although I believe what we focus on is what we attract.  If an individual lives blaming others for the mistakes they make and always maintain the mindset that they are a victim then they will attract negative consequences due to their negative thoughts and actions.  I have seen people who continually find themselves in difficult situations and culture the victim mentality.  They develop a bitterness toward authority and boundaries only to find themselves frequently experiencing negative consequences from ignoring legal establishments and normal relationships.  Combined with active mental illness, their issues are magnified. It is interesting that these individuals focus on simple or token good deeds and believe that the few they perform completely erases the severe negative deeds that define their existence.  When caught and faced with the consequences, they attempt to deflect or ascribe fault to everyone but themselves.  The simple truth is that one can't run, can't hide from karma.  For every negative action their is a consequence.  There is no scorecard, no storage pool where good karma builds up to stand to negate the negative.  You reap what you sow.  If one betrays established boundaries, negative consequences will hunt them down and make all wrongs, right.  That is a universal law.  All those that were injured in some way have to do is sit back and watch the show.

As The World Turns....

Working through a busy schedule today of individuals that have at one time or another, lost track of reality due to psychiatric issues I found something interesting.  A new understanding that I thought I already was aware but obviously wasn't because of my satisfaction at the insight.  Addiction, depression and specifically bipolar disorder is not exacerbated by geographic location.  This, I know, is Psychology 101 but for some odd reason this new illumination feels as though its the first time. Most pronounced is the specific behaviors and thought processes shared in men with bipolar disorder.  I find that in those I'm familiar, they hold some belief that they maintain some form of romantic/sexual prowess and go to great lengths to display (paint a picture) their belief to the world.  As I typed the last sentence it came to my mind that in doing so they are presenting a falsehood in attempt to lure an unsuspecting female.  Fact is, one male with whom I am familiar, only displays this behavior when he is moving into a manic phase and only to entice a woman into what will become an abusive relationship.  I guess it is a survival mechanism allowing him to cope with the severely damaged life he has created.  Couple this with the fact that alcohol and other illicit substances are firmly anchored in his daily existence, it reveals severe insecurities.  It's really pathetic! Looking at his track record (psychiatric hospital admissions and legal issues) in conjunction with his current cycle (Casanova syndrome), it won't be long before he once again crashes, finding himself  again hospitalized or incarcerated..  All because he is too stupid to embrace psychiatric assistance and hold to healthy boundaries.  It's important to develop an accurate introspective inventory but I guess for some it is easier to cope with not truly knowing oneself.

Life, Love, Death and Betrayal

Life is full of ups and downs.  One just needs to be observant and look around at the issues going on in the world today.  So many esoteric events impact our individual lives.  It's like a pebble that is dropped in calm water.  On initial impact the surface tension of the water is disrupted and the kinetic energy causes ripples to form, the magnitude directly proportional to the size of the rock.  

The problems (the rocks) we face in life (the water surface) create ripple effects the same.  One thing for certain in life is we will always have to deal with ripples whether from the problems direct in our lives or as a byproduct of problems in the lives of those around us.  Many people fear and are ill prepared to cope with the ripples.  I have found that the best way to cope is to understand that nothing is as bad as it seems and in most instances, we manufacture much more dire circumstances than, what in actuality, even the worst problem would manifest.  Think about it, the worst possible outcome and the one end result most people fear is death.  I have found that there is something worse than death and that is betrayal.  In life and love through the highs and lows, being betrayed can cause a person to long for death to escape the hurt, uncertainty and pain of total loss of trust placed in another.  Betrayal can be at the hands of a loved one, family, a friend or employer.  Most have experienced hurt and betrayal from one of the above and unfortunately some have experienced from multiple people from those categories.  The degree of hurt varies to the closeness of the  relationship but each cause ripples felt long after the initial impact.  Each ripple is representative of the feelings of hurt, emptiness, anger, bitterness and loneliness that one has the draining task of living with day to day.  Dealing with such emotions is difficult. Some turn to drugs and alcohol to numb the emptiness they feel to the degree that their very existence is identified and hinges on the use of a substance.  Should the drug/alcohol be removed they would be lost and struggle to find their identity.  Others retreat within themselves, shutting out the world around them, unable and unwilling to open themselves up to trust again.  The rawness of emotion causing apprehension in just the thoughts of functioning in society.  There are those that allow anger and bitterness to burn as fuel to morph into an individual bent on vindication.  They fundamentally ignore compassion and sympathy with determination to never again allow themselves to be in a position to be the betrayed.  

I have experienced betrayal at multiple levels- family, loved ones, friends and employers.  Each have presented with a different magnitude but all formed ripples that I will be dealing with the rest of my life.  I have struggled and found myself dealing in the different ways.  The varying magnitudes proved that there are definitely worse things than death and I can understand the peaceful longing for such an escape.  However, through it all I found that with a few exceptions, things are never as bad as what they seem and regardless of our innate desires nothing good ever comes from completely trusting anyone.  

Moving Forward While Looking Back

Change is a perplexing fact of life. As children we all run around without a care in the world pretending to be astronauts, soldiers, race car drivers or one of many other professions. Then we get older, adults around us ask the age old question, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Usually by that time we have more realistic aspirations such as pro athlete, doctor, lawyer,etc. Time marches on and we make it to high school graduation and for some straight into the adult world of employment (generally not any career that was the focus of our imagination as children), others of us go onto the purgatory of employment- college. During this time we are expected to have some idea of what we plan to do for a living and take classes that prepare us to be successful but most list their major as undecided... (I majored in partying and would have received an Associates degree if offered). We graduate from college and either enter the workforce or choose to become a "career student" and go on to graduate school to improve our "marketability". Once all the education is obtained and we start our careers, we look back and see every mistake, wrong direction and poor choice. We find ourselves, when we hit our 40's, burned out and looking around trying to figure out just how we arrived at our current place in life. Time replays in our mind and we run through each failure and success. Some call this the "mid-life" crisis, a time in which boredom and stagnation takes hold and an extremely dangerous mindset to find oneself. It leads to financial ruin (the purchase of a Corvette), marital ruin (the Vette and a blonde) and other very poor decisions. Fact is, many make a series of devastating decisions trying to regain the vision of how we see our ideal past. Relationships are impulsively sought to be rekindled that were disastrous "way back when" and will be even more so now. More importantly though, some reach this time having chronically destroyed all in their life. They value the intangibles while neglecting the tangibles. They always have an excuse as to cope with reaching mid-life and having nothing to show for it except broken homes and a rap sheet. "I had no way to go to college", "I'm was unable to work", etc. Truth is, it all started when a little child running around pretending to be a cowboy, cop, astronaut, etc. The maturation process was stunted and when it was realized that in order to be those things a dedication to work hard was required. They got stuck in their imagination and now all they have is excuses. They are unable to move forward due to looking back. Successful people do the opposite- able to move forward while looking back. It is those that look at mid-life as a time to change and improve the years to follow instead of making excuses as to why they are aren't where and with whom they think they should have been.

Cha..cha..changes...

After a well deserved hiatus and numerous major life changes, I'm baaaack! I must admit that, and this is saying a lot coming from a routine-a-holic, change is indeed good. I realized finally that if I had to work for an idiot that I may as well work for myself.. I am so thankful that my past part-time endeavor for a little extra blossomed into an opportunity to acquire the liberty to be my own boss. Someone whom I use to hold in high regard stated in obvious envy, prior to my decision, that I had situated myself to be accountable to no one. I'm not delusional enough to take ownership of that claim but I can say that I am selective of to whom I choose to be accountable. Isn't that the goal? When we place ourselves under accountability to another we are doing so to their strengths and weaknesses. With that in mind, we have to weigh whether the strengths overcome the potential drain of their weaknesses. The Declaration of Independence enshrines "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness" among the unalienable rights of all men. One is hypocritical to condemn another for having the courage to seek to obtain those three. Sadly men, who make mistakes in the face of sound advice that would have avoided them, will always seek to transfer blame to those that are accountable to them. That's human nature. It's a psychological defect called narcissism. We all suffer it to varying degrees. Some manage it better than others by maintaining an accurate introspective inventory. Again, the Declaration of Independence states, "All men are created equal". What forms the differences and uniqueness from person to person? Really understanding who we are- specifically our psychological variances/deficiencies and knowing the true source of our faith are the determining factors in an individuals success in obtaining Life, Liberty and Happiness.
During my hiatus I found that I had been placing myself in situations and relationships that were chronically draining to me. Why? Narcissistic individuals seek L.L.H through the work and sacrifice of others. They feel a sense of entitlement to "piggy back" on another's quest for one or all three. I determined that the best I could do for another is to "set the table" but "eating" is their responsibility. I can say this for sure, each individual is the author of their own success. Life, Liberty and Happiness is obtainable and is uniquely different in everyone and I am thankful for the experiences- good and bad, the people-contributors and leeches, and decisions- constructive and destructive that led me to this time in my life. Life is good, I am happy and for the first time I have liberty simply because I stood up, stepped out and made a choice to pare down the list of those whom I had been accountable. I encourage all to evaluate and take the step.... Make the changes necessary. Life is short. Don't waste it being drained . Don't allow another's weaknesses determine whether you have a life filled with happiness and freedom.