Depraved Heart

Every part of man—his mind, will, emotions and flesh—have been corrupted. The choices we make in life and the driving force of those choices, our beliefs, affects all areas of our being including who we are and what we do. It penetrates to the very core of our being.  This brings to my mind the state of total depravity.  This does not mean that man is as wicked or evil as he could be, nor does it mean that man is without a conscience or any sense of right or wrong. Neither does it mean that man does not or cannot do things that seem to be good when viewed from a human perspective or measured against a human standard.  However, what total depravity does recognize is that even the “good” things man does are tainted by each individual's hidden agenda and complicated by the different "beliefs", experiences and mental illness. 
The world viewpoint is that man is basically good. Therefore, the idea that man by nature is depraved and selfish  runs contrary to most modern religious, psychological and philosophical views of the basic nature of man. The fact is that the human heart is depraved, and the root cause of man’s problem is not the environment he is raised in but his wicked and self-centered heart.  Simply put, what and in whom a man chooses to believe will dictate his decisons, choices, and actions.  I ran across the following that was written by someone who has struggled their entire life with mental illness and has made bad decisions and choices that led to bad actions for most of their life.  It is interesting how in professing little or no belief in a supreme being, they spend a great deal of effort in placing blame on the deity.  Truly a depraved heart.  As I understand, it is not a matter of calling out to God in times of difficulty as most people do.  It is suppose to be an ongoing relationship.  Talking with him in good times and bad.  Not only reaching out to Him but also reading His Word and allowing His message guide in our decisions.  A person is delusional to expect to make decision after decision that is contrary to God's direction and existence and then expect Him to "swoop in" when we are in need to fix our problems.  Truth be told, if more people would spend more time "talking to" and reading God's Word then there would be less heartache and hurt in the world.  The difficult issues that many people find themselves facing may not of even occurred.  At some point in everyone's life they need to come to a place where they say to themselves, "Im depraved.  I have screwed my life up (and in many cases the lives of those around them) due to my selfishness.  I have only lived to believe in myself and to go after what I want.  The place i am in is of my own doing and Im not happy."  Then they need to firmly believe in seeking the truth.  Being a student of the Way, the Truth, the Life!  They need to do a 180 degree turn in their life path.  Not everything negative that happens to people are the fault of others.  Some would maintain that nothing is their fault.  They take no accountability or responsibility consequently they are always the "victim".  In reality, every person has the free will to choose.  "Do i do "this or that" knowing it is wrong simply because its what I want to do" or "Do I choose to not do "this or that" because it is wrong and will have negative consequences?"  It should be an easy choice but the depraved heart stands to make the wrong decision.  That alone makes the following very sad because the mental illness is evident in the clouding of the thought process in dealing with the depravity. 

"hey you
jesus
we need to talk
i know that i don't do that sunday thing
don't hold that against me
i talk to you from time to time
althought it is just a one sided conservation
everyone tells me...

that you will not place more on my shoulders
than i can bare
this time it might not be the right answer
it might be the rug burn
it might be the cuts from the rocks
it might be the dirt from the side of the road
mixed with the blood on my knees
that does not dull the real pain
this time you are wrong
you only help thouse that help themselves
maybe that should be translated
i help no one, no one helped me
i stood for what i beleived in
nothing could sway me from my course
i died for what i believe
what the hell are you going to do
so stay the course in what you believe
it is not my fault that you are lonley
it is not my fault that you poor
it is not my fault that you are hungry
i can't change your life
i am dead
i can't deliver you
i can't save you
no one can help you change the direction that you head in
for that is what you realy believe in
if you truely believe there is noting more that you can do
i believed, you know what happened to me
we keep what happens to us
don't try again, is that what you believe
i will always be poor, is that what you believe
i am lonely, is that what you believe
i will never have enough to eat, is that what you believe
you want help
here i give it to you
the freedome to do what it is that you believe
for this reason, and this reason alone
i leave it to you"