I hear all the time, from teenagers as well as those who suffer mental illness, so and so(insert name here) "is the love of my life". I have also heard "I love so and so and always will"(only to find that in the future "so and so" is now viewed as the devil incarnate and another "always love" exists. Looking to find similarities between the "love" in the teen aged mind and the "love" in the mind of those suffering mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder, antisocial personality disorder and BPD for example one major similarity is immature perceptions. "Love" is based purely on physiological response to another person. As teenagers, specifically males, the surge in testosterone makes him "love" any girl who will spread her legs for him. This is lust, not love. In adults suffering mental illness hormones/endorphins play a similar role only it's not because of a consistent high level but rather surges being released during times of excitement(such as that occurs when doing something dangerous, illegal or from the introduction of drugs such as alcohol and other illicit substances). They feel "better" about life and if another person is involved then they assign the label "love" to their feeling toward the other person when in actuality it is the Situation, not the person bringing about the feelings.
Now, if you have a teen who also suffers a personality disorder then the lust they experience can be
Inaccurately transcribed into memory. An guy I know of has done just that... He is verifiable mentally Ill and multiple psychiatric hospital admissions has been unsuccessful in helping him. He had a brief encounter with a girl when he was in high school(now 41). He has been married and divorced. His adult life has been searching for "love"(due to his bipolar/ASPD he is incapable of)
But once his true self(long legal history, inability to maintain gainful employment, abuse of alcohol and psychiatric history) the women rightfully distance themselves from him. After exhausting his options he decides to draw upon the false memories and search out one girl who made the mistake of becoming involved with him briefly during the teen years. She is married(21 years) with a family which does not stop him from pursuing(prime example of his mental illness). It's very important to note that he had not seen nor spoken to her in over 25 years but he "loves her and always has" and "his love for her and his heart having always been hers is the reason none of his relationships have worked out"(never mind that he is mentally ill and incapable of maintaining a relationship of any sort- parents, children, friends, etc). He spins lie after lie painting the picture of who he wants her to see when in reality he is exactly opposite. His endorphins surge due to trying to seduce a woman who is married to another man and in his immature and
Mentally Ill mind, the "feeling" from the surge is "love". Truth is, any woman that shows him attention that he perceives will lead to what he wants- sex, he would "fall in love with". He would insist and declare his love from the rooftops as long as he is getting what he wanted but just like a teenager, once he tires(the endorphins no longer surge) or sets his sights on another(which will happen as soon as she begins to see the true him and realizes she made a huge mistake) he will discard her with contempt.
I am amazed at the behavior and distortions of reality that occurs in adults stemming from mental illness that existed during teen years. Love at first sight does not exist... Lust at first sight does. True Love develops as two people spend time with one another. Not days or a few weeks but months and years. Love comes from sharing good times, bad times, laughing and crying together. It doesn't occur during hormone surged intimacy as a teen. The fact that someone, anyone can claim a lifetime of relationship failures on a brief intimate encounter at 16 or 17 is ridiculous! Definite mental illness! Simply put, lust is not love and to not know the difference is plain pathetic! I don't know any grown woman who wants a man that is
That delusional.
No comments:
Post a Comment