"MISERY LOVES COMPANY"

People who are unhappy get  consolation from knowing that others are unhappy as well.  I believe that many that are unhappy do not intentionally set out with intent to "drag" others down to a place of unhappiness but rather the unhappy person is in same manner expecting that their unhappiness will dissipate and lead to happiness.  A prime example occurs in marriage when one spouse becomes disillusioned with their life and partner.  They search, due to their unhappiness, for someone with whom they believe that they will be happy.  An affair occurs and eventually a divorce at which time they marry the one that precipitated the divorce.  The one the spouse thought would bring them happiness.  The reality is that it never works out just as expected.  He/She finds that soon they are actually more unhappy in their present relationship than they were in the one that led to committing adultery to get away.  At that point the sum total of all that are miserable has increased beyond just the one to include the exspouse, children, family and new partner.  Taking an accurate inventory one would find that never is just one person responsible.  I mean, in the life of the unhappy spouse the source of the unhappiness(misery) is not that way based solely on their partner but unfortunately people have a tendency to always assign blame on someone else and the one person closest to them is in most cases the "reason".  Nevermind any psychiatric issues such as depression, bipolar disorder, etc in the unhappy spouse.  Now here is the "perfect storm", a "unhappy" spouse reaches out to an "unhappy" single individual and one or both suffer from a mental illness.  In the minds of both, the other is exactly what is necessary to be happy and they move forward.  Talk about total meltdown on both ends.  Alot of causulties lay in the wake of the volitile and compromised thought processes of both individuals. An unhappy, miserable person does nothing but make others unhappy and miserable. 
Fact is that a person should never place the burden of total happiness on another.  Yes, spouses should enjoy doing for and giving each other what is necessary to be comfortable and happy physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually.  The most important thing in my opinion is that each spouse NOT do the things that they know will bring  hurt and pain on the other regardless of their perceived state of happiness.  Truth as I know it is that if you love someone then hurting them in any way is not an option.  If you love someone then why make them miserable as well?  I understand the selfishness of someone who is outside a relationship thinking that "if only I had so and so(one of the spouses) in my life I would be happy" not caring of the unhappiness and hurt they cause in their attempts to be "happy".  I cant understand why "so and so" would want to inflict that unhappiness on those he/she supposedly loves.  But anyway, statistics have shown that misery follows the spouse that steps outside of marriage seeking "happiness".  The reason- it was in the marriage already but boredom masquerading as unhappiness led misery to find company.