Moving Forward While Looking Back

Change is a perplexing fact of life. As children we all run around without a care in the world pretending to be astronauts, soldiers, race car drivers or one of many other professions. Then we get older, adults around us ask the age old question, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Usually by that time we have more realistic aspirations such as pro athlete, doctor, lawyer,etc. Time marches on and we make it to high school graduation and for some straight into the adult world of employment (generally not any career that was the focus of our imagination as children), others of us go onto the purgatory of employment- college. During this time we are expected to have some idea of what we plan to do for a living and take classes that prepare us to be successful but most list their major as undecided... (I majored in partying and would have received an Associates degree if offered). We graduate from college and either enter the workforce or choose to become a "career student" and go on to graduate school to improve our "marketability". Once all the education is obtained and we start our careers, we look back and see every mistake, wrong direction and poor choice. We find ourselves, when we hit our 40's, burned out and looking around trying to figure out just how we arrived at our current place in life. Time replays in our mind and we run through each failure and success. Some call this the "mid-life" crisis, a time in which boredom and stagnation takes hold and an extremely dangerous mindset to find oneself. It leads to financial ruin (the purchase of a Corvette), marital ruin (the Vette and a blonde) and other very poor decisions. Fact is, many make a series of devastating decisions trying to regain the vision of how we see our ideal past. Relationships are impulsively sought to be rekindled that were disastrous "way back when" and will be even more so now. More importantly though, some reach this time having chronically destroyed all in their life. They value the intangibles while neglecting the tangibles. They always have an excuse as to cope with reaching mid-life and having nothing to show for it except broken homes and a rap sheet. "I had no way to go to college", "I'm was unable to work", etc. Truth is, it all started when a little child running around pretending to be a cowboy, cop, astronaut, etc. The maturation process was stunted and when it was realized that in order to be those things a dedication to work hard was required. They got stuck in their imagination and now all they have is excuses. They are unable to move forward due to looking back. Successful people do the opposite- able to move forward while looking back. It is those that look at mid-life as a time to change and improve the years to follow instead of making excuses as to why they are aren't where and with whom they think they should have been.

Cha..cha..changes...

After a well deserved hiatus and numerous major life changes, I'm baaaack! I must admit that, and this is saying a lot coming from a routine-a-holic, change is indeed good. I realized finally that if I had to work for an idiot that I may as well work for myself.. I am so thankful that my past part-time endeavor for a little extra blossomed into an opportunity to acquire the liberty to be my own boss. Someone whom I use to hold in high regard stated in obvious envy, prior to my decision, that I had situated myself to be accountable to no one. I'm not delusional enough to take ownership of that claim but I can say that I am selective of to whom I choose to be accountable. Isn't that the goal? When we place ourselves under accountability to another we are doing so to their strengths and weaknesses. With that in mind, we have to weigh whether the strengths overcome the potential drain of their weaknesses. The Declaration of Independence enshrines "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness" among the unalienable rights of all men. One is hypocritical to condemn another for having the courage to seek to obtain those three. Sadly men, who make mistakes in the face of sound advice that would have avoided them, will always seek to transfer blame to those that are accountable to them. That's human nature. It's a psychological defect called narcissism. We all suffer it to varying degrees. Some manage it better than others by maintaining an accurate introspective inventory. Again, the Declaration of Independence states, "All men are created equal". What forms the differences and uniqueness from person to person? Really understanding who we are- specifically our psychological variances/deficiencies and knowing the true source of our faith are the determining factors in an individuals success in obtaining Life, Liberty and Happiness.
During my hiatus I found that I had been placing myself in situations and relationships that were chronically draining to me. Why? Narcissistic individuals seek L.L.H through the work and sacrifice of others. They feel a sense of entitlement to "piggy back" on another's quest for one or all three. I determined that the best I could do for another is to "set the table" but "eating" is their responsibility. I can say this for sure, each individual is the author of their own success. Life, Liberty and Happiness is obtainable and is uniquely different in everyone and I am thankful for the experiences- good and bad, the people-contributors and leeches, and decisions- constructive and destructive that led me to this time in my life. Life is good, I am happy and for the first time I have liberty simply because I stood up, stepped out and made a choice to pare down the list of those whom I had been accountable. I encourage all to evaluate and take the step.... Make the changes necessary. Life is short. Don't waste it being drained . Don't allow another's weaknesses determine whether you have a life filled with happiness and freedom.