UNCOMPLICATE AND LIVE A HAPPIER LIFE!

Life is not complicated. We are complicated. When we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life is simple.
So starting today…

1. Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress. – Start embracing it! Because being a work in progress doesn’t mean you’re not good enough today. It means you want a better tomorrow, and you wish to love yourself completely, so you can live your life fully. It means you’re determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you’re meant to share. May we all be works in progress forever, and celebrate the fact that we are!
2. Stop doing immoral things simply because you can. – Start being honest with yourself and everyone else. Don’t cheat. Be faithful. Be kind. Do the right thing! It is a less complicated way to live. Integrity is the essence of everything successful. When you break the rules of integrity you invite serious complications into your life. Keep life simple and enjoyable by doing what you know in your heart is right.
3. Stop meaning what you don’t say. – Start communicating clearly. Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours. Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with bad communication. Someone isn’t being clear.
4. Stop wasting time and money trying to acquire more of everything. – Start focusing on quality. High quality is worth more than any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences. Truly ‘rich’ people need less to be happy. Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one. Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects. Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. 
5. Stop spending time with negative people. – Start spending time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you free yourself of negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the simplest way to live.
6. Stop trying to change people. – Start accepting people just the way they are. In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try. So save yourself from needless stress. Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.
7. Stop being lazy and cutting corners. – Start avoiding future headaches by doing things right the first time. Always put your best foot forward. Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment. Why give less than 100%? Life is too short to waste it by living below your full potential. If something is worth doing, then it’s worth doing well.
8. Stop procrastinating. – Start taking action and making changes. Action and change are often resisted when they’re needed most. Get a hold of yourself and have discipline. Discipline is choosing what you really want over what you want right now.  Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier. What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow. And there’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of an unfinished task.
9. Stop worrying and complaining. – Start focusing on the things you can control and do something about them. Those who complain the most accomplish the least. And when you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want. It’s usually only as good or bad as you think it is.
10. Stop being dramatic. – Start spending less time gossiping about problems and more time helping yourself and others solve them. Stay out of people’s needless drama and don’t create your own.
11. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Start focusing on being everything to someone. Helping or pleasing everyone is impossible. But making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus and be yourself.
12. Stop making promises you can’t keep. – Starting under-promising and over-delivering on everything you do. Period.
13. Stop blaming others. – Start accepting responsibility for everything in your life. Blaming others accomplishes nothing and prolongs the complications you’re facing. Either you own your problems, or they will own you. Your choice. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give up your power over that part of your life.
14. Stop reacting without a plan. – Start planning and working toward specific goals. Make a list of your top 3 - 5 goals. What’s most important to you? What do you value most? What 3 - 5 things do you most want to do in your life? Simplifying your life starts with these priorities, as you are trying to make room in your life so you have more time for these things. Having a plan, even a flawed one at first, is better than no plan at all. There is good reason why you should wake each morning and mindfully consider what and who you will give your day to: Because unlike other things in life – love, money, respect, good health, hope, opportunities, etc. – time is the one thing you can never get back once it’s gone.
15. Stop confusing ‘being busy’ with ‘being productive.’ – Start tracking and measuring your progress. Being busy and being productive are two very different things. Results are more important than the time it takes to achieve them.
16. Stop over-committing and trying to do too much at once. – Start saying “no” more often. If you never say “no,” you will take on too much and get nothing accomplished. In the beginning, you need to say “yes” to a lot of things to discover and establish your goals. Later on, you need to say “no” to a lot of things and concentrate on your goals. Once your goals are established, focus on doing one thing at a time and doing it well. Also, leave space around commitments in your day. Whether you have appointments, or things you need to do, don’t stack them back-to-back. Leave a little space between things you need to do, so you will have room for contingencies, and you’ll go through your day much more relaxed.
17. Stop being inefficient simply because you’ve always done it that way. – Start opening your mind to making positive changes. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Many times we live with unplanned, complex systems in our lives simply because we haven’t given them much thought. Instead, streamline your life by finding better ways of handling common tasks. Focus on one system at a time (your cleaning system, your errands system, your paperwork system, your email system, etc.) and try to make it simplified, efficient, and logical. Then, once you have it perfected, stick to it. 
18. Stop cluttering your space. – Start clearing clutter. Get rid of stuff you don’t use and then organize what’s left. If you have a cluttered living or working space, it can be distracting and stressful. A clear space is like a blank canvas, available to be used to create something great. Getting truly organized and clutter-free can vastly improve anyone’s life.
19. Stop overloading your mind by consuming useless information. – Start unsubscribing from useless e-lists and news feeds, and keep the TV off. Limit your time on Facebook, Twitter, CNN.com and your other favorite websites, etc.
20. Stop obsessing over the past and future. – Start being present. Paying more attention to the current moment can make a huge difference in simplifying your life. It keeps you aware of life, of what’s going on around you and within you. It does wonders for your sanity and stress levels.
21. Stop waiting for things to be perfect. – Start thinking of how many things don’t get done in this world simply because people are waiting for the perfect time, place and circumstance. If you’re waiting for the perfect conditions, ideas or plans to get started, you’ll never achieve anything. A good idea without action is nothing at all. Keep it simple and just start. Focus on the next positive step forward.
22. Stop focusing so much energy on trying to avoid mistakes. – Start learning from your mistakes, then smile and move on. No matter how smart you are, you will make mistakes. Trying to avoid them will only waste time and complicate your life. There is a lesson in every mistake you make, and learning the lesson is how you move forward.
23. Stop making emotional decisions. – Start taking a few steps back so you can think things through. When you’re caught up in the moment and your emotions are soaring, you’re bound to make poor decisions that will lead to needless complications. The best advice here is simple: Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence. Slow down and think things through before you make any big decisions.
24. Stop being unhealthy. – Start taking care of your body. Start sleeping eight hours every night. A tired, malnourished mind is over-stressed and rarely productive. Your health is your life, don’t let it go. Eat right, exercise and get an annual physical check-up. 
25. Stop holding on to intimate relationships that make you unhappy. – Start looking out for yourself when it comes to intimate relationships. It’s better to WAIT, and give your hand to someone who will never let go, rather than holding on to the outside of a hand that has never fully opened for you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. Remember, anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you. But it takes someone really special to stay in your life and show you how much they love you. 
26. Stop holding on to hate. – Starting letting hate go! Keep your sights set on the future. Holding on to hate and anger is like grasping hot coals with the intent of throwing them at someone else – you are the one who gets burned. If you want to forget someone, and move on, you must give up hating them. It’s hard to forget someone you hate, because hate takes pieces of your heart – thereby keeping this person within your heart. If you want to forget them, let go of the hate, and create peace in your heart instead. Also, remember that whenever you hate something, it usually hates you back: people, situations, and inanimate objects alike; which will only further complicate your life.
27. Stop pretending like you know everything. – Start accepting the fact that there’s a lot you don’t know. Nobody has it all figured out. Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. Why? Because the world is simply way too vast for any one person to know everything well. And most of what we see is only what we think about what we see. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will stop making the same unnecessary mistakes, and the sooner new doors of opportunity will open in your life.
28. Stop giving what you don’t want to receive. – Start practicing the golden rule. If you want love, give love. If you want friends, be friendly. If you want money, provide value. It works. It really is this simple.

After the Infidelity: 7 Ways to Emotionally Reconnect with Your Spouse

Relationships are complicated as it is, so if some partner betrays the other partner’s trust, it can break the relationship. Infidelity is one of the main causes for divorce. It can create a distance between two people that may be unfixable.  Breaking up may not always be the answer. Some couples decide to work on things post affair and live in a long healthy relationship.

Here are a few steps from Shine.yahoo.com to take after the indiscretion has been discovered and you've decided to stay with your partner:

1. Communicate - After your partner has been unfaithful, you should ask them why they strayed? It seems like a simple step but it's often skipped. After all, the truth can hurt. But it's best to know the reasons so those issues can be addressed. Wait until your partner is ready to open up and reveal this information to you. Unfortunately, in some cases, the answer to this question will never come. Poor communication can make it difficult to repair a damaged relationship.

2. Don't Blame - If you've decided to stay that should also mean you've decided to forgive. Staying in the relationship, without forgiving, is a losing endeavor. Forgiving doesn't mean you have to forget what happened. Discovering the motivation behind the infidelity should help ease the road to forgiveness. Time is a fundamental element in achieving this crucial step.

3. Seek Counseling - Getting advice from a qualified third party can be helpful and may accelerate the healing process. Counseling can be beneficial if taken alone or as a couple. If you are religious, you might consider getting religious-based counseling. Choosing a counselor is a personal decision and selecting the right person is something that should be discussed between you and your partner. If you're unable to seek professional counseling, you might find success by discussing the matter with a mentor or any confidant you feel comfortable sharing the facts with.

4. Spend Time Alone - Sometimes the best way to reconnect to someone else is to reconnect to yourself first. Revisit an old hobby or start a new one. Reflect on your life and determine if your goals still align with the relationship. If not, you have to decide if you are ready to take steps to move away from the relationship permanently.

5. Plan a Date - Reconnecting with your partner means spending time with your partner. Plan a date night, for an added touch, try recreating the very first date you and your partner shared. This is a great time to reminisce about memorable moments in your relationship. Take a stroll down memory lane and think about the reasons you decided to enter the relationship in the first place. Remembering good times can help you get through the bad times.

6. Take a Romantic Getaway - Regaining those wonderful feelings toward your partner may take more than just a date night. If so, this is the perfect time to go on a couple's retreat. Another option is to take a day trip if you can't take a full vacation. Leave in the morning, spend a whirlwind day on a mutually enjoyable activity and return home by nightfall.

7. Renew Your Vows -  This act makes a very strong statement to both your partner and the world by showing the level of dedication you have for each other. The support of friends and family can propel you forward in your relationship and smooth the way to forgiveness.

If you and your partner decide to work on it, make sure you are both 100% committed and bring all your issues to the forefront. ABOVE ALL BE HONEST.  Following infidelity any dishonesty will completely unravel any trust that could be restored.  Further dishonesty will only bring about resentment in the one you promised to love and committed yourself to through sickness and health, good times and bad, richer and poorer, forsaking all others.  Remember that time, honesty, patience and forgiveness are key elements to surviving and thriving after the cheating.

Social Cheating: A Look at Social Media’s Influence on Infidelity

At a rapid rate, the number of couples choosing to divorce because of social media is growing and doesn’t seem to be getting any better.  While social media can be used in a good way to connect people all over the world, it can also be used in a bad way when connecting the wrong people. For example, your ex tries to “friend request” you and innocently starts messaging you, that can lead to flirtatious messaging and very well could be the beginning of an emotional affair.

With the number of affairs arising from social media, this issue is becoming a major challenge for lawyers in court.  According to NerdGraph.com, “81% of members from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reported using or confronting information pulled from Facebook, Myspace, Twitter and various other social networking sites.”

• 66% of that statistic was from Facebook, while 15% was from Myspace and 5% from Twitter.
• “27% of wives use electronic information during a divorce case as opposed to only 5% of husbands.”
• For example, a woman’s husband may have logged onto Match.com and presented that he is single and has no kids, while at the same time he is fighting for custody for the kid he claims he does not have. 
• “1 in 5 adults use Facebook for flirting.”

According to NerdGraph.com, men with performance anxiety or are more easily around are more liking to cheat, while women will cheat more when they are not sexually satisfied. The top Facebook evidences that are used in divorce court are: messages to a person of the opposite sex that are inappropriate, a Facebook friend reporting a spouse’s shady behavior, and both spouses using Facebook to attack each other.

To avoid a social network divorce use common sense. Reconnect without doing something that you may regret, don’t keep secretes from your spouse, keep your social network friends at arm’s length, and don’t hesitate to shut it all down. “While social media can be a fun place to reconnect with old friends and keep up with new and current ones, it can also play a deadly role in a marriage. With so many people online and connecting in new ways, it’s hard to predict just how far this problem with go before it’s routed.”

Sociopath- Aberrative Personality

"Sociopaths aberrative personality is so badly off that he can lead only a parasitic existence. You will understand, then, that people going down tone scale do not immediately and automatically become aberrative personalities, in our definition as here used. People become aberrative personalities out of a malevolence which insists on a high level of survival without the production of anything."  PAB13

How true.  The sociopath that I am familiar has never been able to maintain gainful employment.  Instead "manufactured" a lie of injury for disability (which I suspect is actually due to debilitating psychiatric issues that have resulted in many psychiatric hospital admissions).  Travels around to place after place like a vagabound relying on the "kindness of strangers" (or the very few friends and family that he has not taken advantage of in his life).  He definitely leads a parasitic existence.  The biggest issue however is that he feels that the world owes him.  Feels as though he is a victim even though it was his warped perception of reality that led to toxic decisions bringing about deserved negative consequences. He believes that he is within his rights to take what he wants without regard of whether or not he deserves the object of his desires.  So he insists on a high level of survival without the production of anything.  He is a leech, a manipulator and liar.  It is sad really that one has such a mental deficiency.  On the other hand though there is no room for compassion or sympathy since he lacks the capacity to offer those same traits unless as a tool to gain personally.  His choices have placed him in the life he currently lives and it is my opinion that he deserves to be miserable. 

THIRTEEN RULES FOR DEALING WITH SOCIOPATHS

I recently read a statement that is profound in defining a sociopath and the charm that he/she exudes:  They are as tinsel is to that which it imitates – silver.  Tinsel is pretty and shiny but insubstantial, flimsy and easy to break. Silver is the real thing – it has substance, strength, real worth and beauty.

1. The first rule involves the bitter pill of accepting that some people literally have no conscience, and that these people do not often look like Charles Manson or a Ferengi bartender. They look like us.
2. In a contest between your instincts and what is implied by the role a person has taken on -- educator, doctor, leader, animal-lover, humanist, parent -- go with your instincts.

Whether you want to be or not, you are a constant observer of human behavior, and your unfiltered impressions, though alarming and seemingly outlandish, may well help you out if you will let them. Your best self understands, without being told, that impressive and moral-sounding labels do not bestow conscience on anyone who did not have it to begin with.

 

    3.  When considering a new relationship of any kind, practice the Rule of Threes regarding the
         claims and promises a person makes, and the responsibilities he or she has.

 

Make the Rule of Threes your personal policy. One lie, one broken promise, or a single neglected responsibility may be a misunderstanding instead. Two may involve a serious mistake. But three lies says you're dealing with a liar, and deceit is the linchpin of conscienceless behavior. Cut your losses and get out as soon as you can. Leaving, though it may be hard, will be easier now than later, and less costly.

 

Do not give your money, your work, your secrets, or your affection to a three-timer. Your valuable gifts will be wasted.

 

      4.  Question authority.
Once again -- trust your own instincts and anxieties, especially those concerning people who claim that dominating others, violence, war, or some other violation of your conscience is the grand solution to some problem. Do this even when, or especially when, everyone around you has completely stopped questioning authority. Recite to yourself what Stanley Milgram taught us about obedience. (At least six out of ten people will blindly obey a present, official-looking authority to the bitter end.) The good news is that having social support makes people somewhat more likely to challenge authority. Encourage those around you to question, too.

      5.  Suspect flattery.
Compliments are lovely, especially when they are sincere. In contrast, flattery is extreme, and appeals to our egos in unrealistic ways. It is the material of counterfeit charm, and nearly always involves an intent to manipulate. Manipulation through flattery is sometimes innocuous and sometimes sinister. Peek over your massaged ego and remember to suspect flattery. This "flattery rule" applies on an individual basis, and also at the level of groups and even whole nations. Throughout all of human history and to the present, the call to war has included the flattering claim that one's own forces are about to accomplish a victory that will change the world for the better, a triumph that is morally laudable, justified by its humane outcome, unique in human endeavor, righteous, and worthy of enormous gratitude. Since we began to record the human story, all of our major wars have been framed in this way, on all sides of the conflict, and in all languages the adjective most often applied to the word war is the word holy. An argument can easily be made that humanity will have peace when nations of people are at last able to see through this masterful flattery.

     6.  If necessary, redefine your concept of respect.
Too often, we mistake fear for respect, and the more fearful we are of someone, the more we view him or her as deserving of our respect.
 In a perfect world, human respect would be an automatic reaction only to those who are strong, kind, and morally courageous. The person who profits from frightening you is not likely to be any of these.
The resolve to keep respect separate from fear is even more crucial for groups and nations. The politician, small or lofty, who menaces the people with frequent reminders of the possibility of crime, violence, or terrorism, and who then uses their magnified fear to gain allegiance is more likely to be a successful con artist than a legitimate leader. This too has been true throughout human history.

      7.  Do not join the game.
Intrigue is a sociopath's tool. Resist the temptation to compete with a seductive sociopath, to outsmart him, psychoanalyze, or even banter with him. In addition to reducing yourself to his level, you would be distracting yourself from what is really important, which is to protect yourself.

     8.  The best way to protect yourself from a sociopath is to avoid him, to refuse any kind of contact

          or communication.
Psychologists do not usually like to recommend avoidance, but in this case, I make a very deliberate exception. The only truly effective method for dealing with a sociopath you have identified is to disallow him or her from your life altogether. Sociopaths live completely outside of the social contract, and therefore to include them in relationships or other social arrangements is perilous. Begin this exclusion of them in the context of your own relationships and social life. You will not hurt anyone's feelings. Strange as it seems, and though they may try to pretend otherwise, sociopaths do not have any such feelings to hurt. You may never be able to make your family and friends understand why you are avoiding a particular individual. Sociopathy is surprisingly difficult to see, and harder to explain. Avoid him/her anyway.
If total avoidance is impossible, make plans to come as close as you can to the goal of total avoidance.

      9.  Question your tendency to pity too easily.
Respect should be reserved for the kind and the morally courageous. Pity is another socially valuable response, and should be reserved for innocent people who are in genuine pain or who have fallen on misfortune. If, instead, you find yourself often pitying someone who consistently hurts you or other people, and who actively campaigns for your sympathy, the chances are close to one hundred percent that you are dealing with a sociopath.
Related to this -- I recommend that you severely challenge your need to be polite in absolutely all situations. For normal adults in our culture, being what we think of as "civilized" is like a reflex, and often we find ourselves being automatically decorous even when someone has enraged us, repeatedly lied to us, or figuratively stabbed us in the back. Sociopaths take huge advantage of this automatic courtesy in exploitive situations.
Do not be afraid to be unsmiling and calmly to the point.

     10.  Do not try to redeem the unredeemable.

Second (third, fourth, and fifth) chances are for people who possess conscience. If you are dealing with a person who has no conscience, know how to swallow hard and cut your losses.

At some point, most of us need to learn the importannce of disappointing life lesson that, no matter how good our intentions, we cannot control the behavior-- let alone the character structures-- of other people. Learn this fact of human life, and avoid the irony of getting caught up in the same ambition he has-- to control.

If you do not desire control, but instead want to help people, then help only those who truly want to be helped. I think you will find this does not include the person who has no conscience.

The sociopath's behavior is not your fault, not in any way whatsoever. It is also not your mission. Your mission is your own life.

 

     11.  Never agree, out of pity or for any other reason, to help a sociopath conceal his or her true

            character.

"Please don't tell," often spoken tearfully and with great gnashing of teeth, is the trademark plea of thieves, child abusers-- and sociopaths. Do not listen to this siren-song. Other people deserve to be warned more than sociopaths deserve to have you keep their secrets.

If someone without conscience insists that you "owe" him or her, recall what you are about to read here-- that "You owe me" has been the standard line of sociopaths for thousands of years, quite literally, and is still so. It is what Rasputin told the Empress of Russia. It is what Hannah's father implied to her, after her eye-opening conversation with him at the prison.

We tend to experience "You owe me" as a compelling claim, but it is simply not true. Do not listen. Also, ignore the one that goes, "You are just like me." You are not.

     12.  Defend your psyche.
Do not allow someone without conscience, or even a string of such people, to convince you that humanity is a failure. Most human beings do possess conscience. Most human beings are able to love.

     13.  Living well is the best revenge.

Projecting and Masquerading.....

A very common description of sociopathic behavior is the inability to connect, especially to people. There may seem like a connection, but there is no bond. Sociopaths often neglect or abandon their families, including their children.  They resent authority, because they believe they should be able to do anything they like, any time they like. They hate being told what to do, and will only cooperate if it furthers their personal plans.  The sociopath will only do for others if their actions benefit them in their plans or affirms a determined opinion or belief they hold.  They will use their action to attempt to establish a similar belief in others and at the same time use it as a cloak to hide their true nature.  Below is exactly one of those attempts.  It is my opinion that the author of the FB rant below is obviously attempting to re-affirm his belief that "the police" are evil and have no regard for people.  Also It is obvious he is saying, "Look at me.. Look what I did... Pat me on the back.... I am such a great person."  So we can see a couple of hidden agendas in this post: 
(copied and pasted directly from FB... Spelling and grammer issues are as authored)
"today i was out and about and when came back outside of the location that i was at. the car next to mine was being towed and a man and his two children were being left there by the police.  turns out that his tags had expired and they were going to take the car and leave him and his children stranded there. it was over twenty miles out of my way but i gave them a ride home.  this is just one more reason that i say fuck the police.
 yesterday i was getting my car inspected and a homeless man came to business location with a duffel bag on his back a small dog that looked like a starving benji and a orange safty vest on. he begain yelling that the fbi had put a gps device in his head. skizo without a doubt. i called the police due to his mindset and that he may become vilolent, you never know what a person with a gps device in their head might do.  so i called the police took twenty minutes to get there. when they did the officer said that they had been having alot of problems with him latley.  i on the other hand see that we are having quite alot of problems with the police. the man is out of his mind. they have been having alot of problems with him, yet they can not seem to get the picture that the man needs medical care. though it may be against his will since they put a gps unit in his head. anyone could see that he needs help but they told him to leave and he did. the police came over and appoligized to us for the mans actions, though they sould have done so for theirs.  just one more reason that i say fuck the police.”

Let me say this, I am not a fan of many of the policies and procedures of law enforcement.  I know that the police have a job to do and as residents in this country we are expected to be aware of the established laws.  We all have a duty and obligation to do everything in our power to follow those established laws and if we fail to do so then we are aware that consequences do exist and should be prepared to accept them.  Afterall for whatever reason we chose to disobey the regulation.  Now as related to the above post, The police are not a taxi service.  This man chose to allow his tags to expire.  Maybe he couldn't afford to pay the taxes or insurance to have them renewed which is becoming more and more frequent in this economy.  Maybe he just forgot which does happen.  In any case, he had to know his tags were expired and operating that vehicle was AGAINST THE LAW but he voluntarily chose to break the law and the authorities had every right to ensure that the vehicle wasnt going to be used further to continue to break the law by towing it until such time as 'the man" had taken care of his obligation to maintain the vehicle appropriately.  Also, insurance will not cover an accident once they are made aware the registration was expired so the police were doing their job which is to protect the public from hazards.  It is not like it is the dead of winter with 30 below zero windchill and the police were leaving the man and his children to extreme elements which was life threatening.  I am sure that he had family and/or friends that he could have contacted to come and provide transportation.  So the author used this situation to demonize the police to re-affirm his hatred of authority (as most sociopaths) because of his history of experiencing consequences of BREAKING THE LAW.
I preface the examination of the 2nd half of his attempt to justify his beliefs with this: Psychiatric care is severely lacking in this country.  A large percentage of the population is suffering and the number of care providers is dwindling thus making a bad problem worse.  "GPS man" truely suffers a severe mental illness that has obviously made it impossible for him to lead a normal and productive life.  It is a tragedy.  I am surprised however that the author would use this as an instance to lash out at police being that with his personal psychiatric history he should be very much aware that in order to receive psychiatric assistance one has to voluntarily seek said services or either be a danger to oneself or others leading to involuntary committment.  It is not a crime to be delusional as "GPS man" appeared to be.  It is sad but does not make him a threat.  When someone is "agitated" and delusional, many times it as simple as speaking calmly with them to alleviate their fear.  Many are just looking for someone to talk with... Someone to listen.  The police in this situation did all they could and sounds as though their speaking with him achieved the desired response... "GPS man" went about his way.  The policeman even "apologized" to the citizens for "GPS man's" behaviour which he was not obligated to do.  It is obvious that the author's disdain for authority due to his sociopathic nature clouds every situation where law enforcement is involved.  It is a shame that the author's mind is do dysfunctional that he has developed such hatred simply because he has had to experience the consequences of his criminal activities. 
 I for one applaud and am thankful for the men and women who put their lives on the line to protect and serve.  Of course though, Im in my "right mind" and do my best to obey the laws of man.   

Depraved Heart

Every part of man—his mind, will, emotions and flesh—have been corrupted. The choices we make in life and the driving force of those choices, our beliefs, affects all areas of our being including who we are and what we do. It penetrates to the very core of our being.  This brings to my mind the state of total depravity.  This does not mean that man is as wicked or evil as he could be, nor does it mean that man is without a conscience or any sense of right or wrong. Neither does it mean that man does not or cannot do things that seem to be good when viewed from a human perspective or measured against a human standard.  However, what total depravity does recognize is that even the “good” things man does are tainted by each individual's hidden agenda and complicated by the different "beliefs", experiences and mental illness. 
The world viewpoint is that man is basically good. Therefore, the idea that man by nature is depraved and selfish  runs contrary to most modern religious, psychological and philosophical views of the basic nature of man. The fact is that the human heart is depraved, and the root cause of man’s problem is not the environment he is raised in but his wicked and self-centered heart.  Simply put, what and in whom a man chooses to believe will dictate his decisons, choices, and actions.  I ran across the following that was written by someone who has struggled their entire life with mental illness and has made bad decisions and choices that led to bad actions for most of their life.  It is interesting how in professing little or no belief in a supreme being, they spend a great deal of effort in placing blame on the deity.  Truly a depraved heart.  As I understand, it is not a matter of calling out to God in times of difficulty as most people do.  It is suppose to be an ongoing relationship.  Talking with him in good times and bad.  Not only reaching out to Him but also reading His Word and allowing His message guide in our decisions.  A person is delusional to expect to make decision after decision that is contrary to God's direction and existence and then expect Him to "swoop in" when we are in need to fix our problems.  Truth be told, if more people would spend more time "talking to" and reading God's Word then there would be less heartache and hurt in the world.  The difficult issues that many people find themselves facing may not of even occurred.  At some point in everyone's life they need to come to a place where they say to themselves, "Im depraved.  I have screwed my life up (and in many cases the lives of those around them) due to my selfishness.  I have only lived to believe in myself and to go after what I want.  The place i am in is of my own doing and Im not happy."  Then they need to firmly believe in seeking the truth.  Being a student of the Way, the Truth, the Life!  They need to do a 180 degree turn in their life path.  Not everything negative that happens to people are the fault of others.  Some would maintain that nothing is their fault.  They take no accountability or responsibility consequently they are always the "victim".  In reality, every person has the free will to choose.  "Do i do "this or that" knowing it is wrong simply because its what I want to do" or "Do I choose to not do "this or that" because it is wrong and will have negative consequences?"  It should be an easy choice but the depraved heart stands to make the wrong decision.  That alone makes the following very sad because the mental illness is evident in the clouding of the thought process in dealing with the depravity. 

"hey you
jesus
we need to talk
i know that i don't do that sunday thing
don't hold that against me
i talk to you from time to time
althought it is just a one sided conservation
everyone tells me...

that you will not place more on my shoulders
than i can bare
this time it might not be the right answer
it might be the rug burn
it might be the cuts from the rocks
it might be the dirt from the side of the road
mixed with the blood on my knees
that does not dull the real pain
this time you are wrong
you only help thouse that help themselves
maybe that should be translated
i help no one, no one helped me
i stood for what i beleived in
nothing could sway me from my course
i died for what i believe
what the hell are you going to do
so stay the course in what you believe
it is not my fault that you are lonley
it is not my fault that you poor
it is not my fault that you are hungry
i can't change your life
i am dead
i can't deliver you
i can't save you
no one can help you change the direction that you head in
for that is what you realy believe in
if you truely believe there is noting more that you can do
i believed, you know what happened to me
we keep what happens to us
don't try again, is that what you believe
i will always be poor, is that what you believe
i am lonely, is that what you believe
i will never have enough to eat, is that what you believe
you want help
here i give it to you
the freedome to do what it is that you believe
for this reason, and this reason alone
i leave it to you"

Expended Energy

Maybe I'm naive but I believe that the energy a person puts into something will bring about a correlated result. I bring up nativity because the result will either be good or bad. It's the premise behind karma. I have experienced through watching those around me that when their energy is expended and through their efforts, whether intentional or not, another is hurt(physically, emotionally or spiritually) that something negative inevitably occurs in their life. In thinking about it deeper many times when someone's life is improved through the energy expended by another, rarely do I see one reap a one time bounty. What I have noticed in those instances is an immediate and continual positive existence for them. One will always sow what they reap. We can all work to better the lives of others and in doing so, improving out lives. We can also rest assured that when a person sows deceit, they will reap destruction. That's a comforting thought.

"MISERY LOVES COMPANY"

People who are unhappy get  consolation from knowing that others are unhappy as well.  I believe that many that are unhappy do not intentionally set out with intent to "drag" others down to a place of unhappiness but rather the unhappy person is in same manner expecting that their unhappiness will dissipate and lead to happiness.  A prime example occurs in marriage when one spouse becomes disillusioned with their life and partner.  They search, due to their unhappiness, for someone with whom they believe that they will be happy.  An affair occurs and eventually a divorce at which time they marry the one that precipitated the divorce.  The one the spouse thought would bring them happiness.  The reality is that it never works out just as expected.  He/She finds that soon they are actually more unhappy in their present relationship than they were in the one that led to committing adultery to get away.  At that point the sum total of all that are miserable has increased beyond just the one to include the exspouse, children, family and new partner.  Taking an accurate inventory one would find that never is just one person responsible.  I mean, in the life of the unhappy spouse the source of the unhappiness(misery) is not that way based solely on their partner but unfortunately people have a tendency to always assign blame on someone else and the one person closest to them is in most cases the "reason".  Nevermind any psychiatric issues such as depression, bipolar disorder, etc in the unhappy spouse.  Now here is the "perfect storm", a "unhappy" spouse reaches out to an "unhappy" single individual and one or both suffer from a mental illness.  In the minds of both, the other is exactly what is necessary to be happy and they move forward.  Talk about total meltdown on both ends.  Alot of causulties lay in the wake of the volitile and compromised thought processes of both individuals. An unhappy, miserable person does nothing but make others unhappy and miserable. 
Fact is that a person should never place the burden of total happiness on another.  Yes, spouses should enjoy doing for and giving each other what is necessary to be comfortable and happy physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually.  The most important thing in my opinion is that each spouse NOT do the things that they know will bring  hurt and pain on the other regardless of their perceived state of happiness.  Truth as I know it is that if you love someone then hurting them in any way is not an option.  If you love someone then why make them miserable as well?  I understand the selfishness of someone who is outside a relationship thinking that "if only I had so and so(one of the spouses) in my life I would be happy" not caring of the unhappiness and hurt they cause in their attempts to be "happy".  I cant understand why "so and so" would want to inflict that unhappiness on those he/she supposedly loves.  But anyway, statistics have shown that misery follows the spouse that steps outside of marriage seeking "happiness".  The reason- it was in the marriage already but boredom masquerading as unhappiness led misery to find company.

Primal Needs... Poor Choices..

Reflecting back on recent life situations I find myself at peace but still harbor a righteous indignation. I accept that there are truly stupid people in the world that live only to satisfy their primal needs an desires regardless of the consequences. What makes me shake my head is that some with a mental illness will do what they know to be absolutely morally and ethically wrong while insisting that they have no issues contributing to their continued behavior while others who know that a psychiatric issue is present will move forward with the same immoral and unethical behaviors feeling as though they have a "free pass" due their illness. Truth is however their are some who have no contributing chemical imbalance who will do the act and claim that they do suffer a mental issue.
In reality I'm surrounded. Don't get me wrong, all individuals will suffer depression in their lives so I'm not professing to be a pillar of mental stability but even during times of stress (loss of a loved one, marital discourse, career hurdles) when I may struggle, I am still very much aware of what's right and what's wrong and absolutely capable to make the choice to do one of those. Regardless our mental state, it is not okay to engage in behaviors that we know are immoral and/or unethical. Our mental state is not a defense. It actually comes down to integrity, intelligence and our character.
It's a lack of character and intelligence that leads one to make the same poor choices and mistakes. So with that in mind I have no choice but to sit back, watch all those around me and shake my head.... In peace.

Leopard Cant Change His Spots.

What is the one thing a sociopath does not want other people to know? The truth. More specifically, sociopaths do not want the truth about them to be known as they are insecure, malicious, and devious people. Beyond being embarrassed by the truth of their behaviors and thoughts, they have a deathly fear of being exposed and rejected. That’s in large part because they use lies, manipulations, and distortions to control other people and get what they want. If others were to know about their true nature, they realize that most would want nothing to do with them. They would lose the support networks of malicious minions they control and incite to abuse other people. Therefore sociopaths have a strong motivation to attack, discredit, harass, and ruin anybody who presents arguments and facts that might tend to raise questions and doubts about their behaviors and their false statements.

Sociopaths Experts At Blaming Others, Greatly Fear Being Blamed

Nobody likes to be blamed, but a responsible person will accept blame for something appropriate. Sociopaths don’t like to accept blame for anything, even if it is well-earned. While part of this is likely from their typically narcissistic “I’m better than you” and “rules don’t apply to me” attitudes, there’s more to it than that. They may realize that blaming is how they control others to harm the targets they viciously attack, often family members or former love interests. They understand both the destructive and defensive powers of blaming and make regular use of both.
Sociopaths may be especially cognizant of the risk that people whom they have used to abuse others might even turn against them, especially those who might be greatly angered by how they were manipulated into participating in destructive and harmful activities against others. People like to blame others. While sociopaths do it with extraordinary intensity and dishonesty, the people they manipulate are likely to do it, too. After all, a sociopath was able to manipulate them into unjustly attacking a former partner, a child’s other parent, teacher, doctor, counselor, therapist, or some other party the sociopath doesn’t like and that clearly demonstrates they are the sort of people who are into blaming others. Who is to say they won’t turn and attack the sociopath when they realize how they were used?
Blame-shifting is one of the most common means of “self-defense” used by abusers and it can readily be used for offensive purposes, too. Many budding sociopaths in the making learn to do blame-shifting with great skill from being abused themselves and wanting to escape it. Blame-shifting, framing, and false accusations are mainstay abuse tactics for sociopaths.
Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse is often very subtle and pervasive. As such, it can escape notice until it has done a lot of damage to its victims. Emotional abusers tend to be domineering, controlling, and refuse to consider the opinions or feelings of others. Many would describe them as being incapable of empathy. They seldom admit to making mistakes, rarely or never apologize for anything, and may resort to blame-shifting when in a situation in which it is very clear they did make a mistake and owe somebody else an apology.
Because of the sociopaths nature, they are skilled at the art of lying.  Even to the point that at times they will fool themselves into believing the embellishments that they tell as truth.  They will turn your attempts to get to the truth around and utilize "gas lighting" in attempt to make you doubt your doubt. He will proceed to attempt to place himself in a seat of superiority by trying to "educate" you on how to recognize a lie coming from a person.  The sociopath is by nature, a liar, and most have been relying on this skill since teenage years to manipulate how others view them.  In times of stress, the lies get larger and the attempt to "gas light" become more frequent.  All because the sociopath knows that the web of manipulation they have worked to create is in danger of crashing down on them.  Truth is however, no matter how insistant he is that he has "changed", he cannot change his nature just as a leopard cant change their spots.  Psychiatric treatment can decrease the frequency of his negative actions but he will forever be a sociopath and liar. 

Lust does not equal love!!!!

I hear all the time, from teenagers as well as those who suffer mental illness, so and so(insert name here) "is the love of my life". I have also heard "I love so and so and always will"(only to find that in the future "so and so" is now viewed as the devil incarnate and another "always love" exists. Looking to find similarities between the "love" in the teen aged mind and the "love" in the mind of those suffering mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder, antisocial personality disorder and BPD for example one major similarity is immature perceptions. "Love" is based purely on physiological response to another person. As teenagers, specifically males, the surge in testosterone makes him "love" any girl who will spread her legs for him. This is lust, not love. In adults suffering mental illness hormones/endorphins play a similar role only it's not because of a consistent high level but rather surges being released during times of excitement(such as that occurs when doing something dangerous, illegal or from the introduction of drugs such as alcohol and other illicit substances). They feel "better" about life and if another person is involved then they assign the label "love" to their feeling toward the other person when in actuality it is the Situation, not the person bringing about the feelings.
Now, if you have a teen who also suffers a personality disorder then the lust they experience can be
Inaccurately transcribed into memory. An guy I know of has done just that... He is verifiable mentally Ill and multiple psychiatric hospital admissions has been unsuccessful in helping him. He had a brief encounter with a girl when he was in high school(now 41). He has been married and divorced. His adult life has been searching for "love"(due to his bipolar/ASPD he is incapable of)
But once his true self(long legal history, inability to maintain gainful employment, abuse of alcohol and psychiatric history) the women rightfully distance themselves from him. After exhausting his options he decides to draw upon the false memories and search out one girl who made the mistake of becoming involved with him briefly during the teen years. She is married(21 years) with a family which does not stop him from pursuing(prime example of his mental illness). It's very important to note that he had not seen nor spoken to her in over 25 years but he "loves her and always has" and "his love for her and his heart having always been hers is the reason none of his relationships have worked out"(never mind that he is mentally ill and incapable of maintaining a relationship of any sort- parents, children, friends, etc). He spins lie after lie painting the picture of who he wants her to see when in reality he is exactly opposite. His endorphins surge due to trying to seduce a woman who is married to another man and in his immature and
Mentally Ill mind, the "feeling" from the surge is "love". Truth is, any woman that shows him attention that he perceives will lead to what he wants- sex, he would "fall in love with". He would insist and declare his love from the rooftops as long as he is getting what he wanted but just like a teenager, once he tires(the endorphins no longer surge) or sets his sights on another(which will happen as soon as she begins to see the true him and realizes she made a huge mistake) he will discard her with contempt.
I am amazed at the behavior and distortions of reality that occurs in adults stemming from mental illness that existed during teen years. Love at first sight does not exist... Lust at first sight does. True Love develops as two people spend time with one another. Not days or a few weeks but months and years. Love comes from sharing good times, bad times, laughing and crying together. It doesn't occur during hormone surged intimacy as a teen. The fact that someone, anyone can claim a lifetime of relationship failures on a brief intimate encounter at 16 or 17 is ridiculous! Definite mental illness! Simply put, lust is not love and to not know the difference is plain pathetic! I don't know any grown woman who wants a man that is
That delusional.

Exposure

Recently, I received a question via email, "what is the best way to handle a situation where a sociopath is attempting to seduce my fiance of 8 years and father of our 7 yr old daughter?
My answer: EXPOSURE... Track down the truth- the good, bad and the ugly about the sociopath and show your boyfriend (whether he is interested or not in her). A sociopaths world and impression of themselves is built on lies. They will figure out exactly what they need to say based on their "reading" of the person they are interested and will fabricate their communication to be exactly what they feel the person they are interested needs and or wants. They go to great lengths to hide their true past because they know that no one wants to be with a self-centered manipulator. Talk to her exs, previous employers, co-workers, do a criminal background check. Go all out and expose all public records, copies of emails and chat logs on the various cheater websites. Forward the information to her friends and family. When the negative repurcusions begin to impact her negatively and she realizes she has nothing to gain by continuing her pursuit but more exposure, she will stop. She is not after your boyfriend because she wants a relationship with him. She wants him because he is committed to you. It's a game for sociopaths and they don't care who gets hurt in the process. Don't stand for it. Stand up and EXPOSE HER TO THE WORLD.

"MY BRAIN MADE ME DO IT!!" WHATEVER!!!

 The main characteristic of a sociopath is a disregard for the rights of others. Sociopaths are also unable to conform to what society defines as a normal personality. Antisocial tendencies are a big part of the sociopath’s personality. This pattern usually comes into evidence around the age of 15. If it is not treated, it can develop into adulthood.   Visible symptoms include aggression and the inability to hold down a steady job. The sociopath also finds it hard to sustain relationships and shows a lack of regret in his or her actions. A major personality behavior trait is the violation of the rights of others. 
   People with antisocial personality disorder frequently indulge in alcohol or drug use. They may use these substances heavily as a way of heightening their antisocial personality. The sociopath sometimes sees the world on his or her own terms, as a place of high drama and risky thrills. The sociopath may suffer from low self esteem, and the use of alcohol and drugs is a way to diminish these feelings.

"The manipulative con-man. The guy who lies to your face, even when he doesn’t have to. The child who tortures animals. The cold-blooded killer. Sociopaths are characterised by an absence of empathy and poor impulse control, with a total lack of conscience. About 1% of the total population can be defined as sociopaths, according to a detailed psychological profile checklist. They tend to be egocentric, callous, manipulative, deceptive, superficial, irresponsible and parasitic, even predatory. The majority of sociopaths are not violent and many do very well in jobs where their personality traits are advantageous and their social tendencies tolerated. However, some have a predisposition to calculated, “instrumental” violence; violence that is cold-blooded, planned and goal-directed. Sociopaths are vastly over-represented among criminals; it is estimated they make up about 20% of the inmates of most prisons. They commit over half of all violent crimes and are 3-4 times more likely to re-offend. They are almost entirely refractory to rehabilitation. These are not nice people.

So how did they get that way? Is it an innate biological condition, a result of social experience, or an interaction between these factors? Longitudinal studies have shown that the personality traits associated with sociopathy are highly stable over time. Early warning signs including “callous-unemotional traits” and antisocial behaviour can be identified in childhood and are highly predictive of future sociopathy. Large-scale twin studies have shown that these traits are highly heritable – identical twins, who share 100% of their genes, are much more similar to each other in this trait than fraternal twins, who share only 50% of their genes. In one study, over 80% of the variation in the callous-unemotional trait across the population was due to genetic differences. In contrast, the effect of a shared family environment was almost nil. Sociopathy seems to be a lifelong trait, or combination of traits, which are heavily influenced by genes and hardly at all by social upbringing.

The two defining characteristics of sociopaths, blunted emotional response to negative stimuli, coupled with poor impulse control, can both be measured in psychological and neuroimaging experiments. Several studies have found decreased responsiveness of the amygdala to fearful or other negative stimuli in sociopaths. They do not seem to process heavily loaded emotional words, like “rape”, for example, any differently from how they process neutral words, like “table”. This lack of response to negative stimuli can be measured in other ways, such as the failure to induce a galvanic skin response (heightened skin conduction due to sweating) when faced with an impending electrical shock. Sociopaths have also been found to underactivate limbic (emotional) regions of the brain during aversive learning, correlating with an insensitivity to negative reinforcement. The sociopath really just doesn’t care. In this, sociopaths differ from many people who are prone to sudden, impulsive violence, in that those people tend to have a hypersensitive negative emotional response to what would otherwise be relatively innocuous stimuli.

What these two groups have in common is poor impulse control. This faculty relies on the part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex, most particularly the orbitofrontal cortex. It is known that lesions to this part of the brain impair planning, prediction of consequences, and inhibition of socially unacceptable behaviour – the cognitive mechanisms of “free won’t”, rather than free will. This brain region is also normally activated by aversive learning, and this activation is also reduced in psychopaths. In addition, both the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala show substantial average reductions in size in sociopaths, suggesting a structural difference in their brains.

These findings have now been united by a recent study that directly analysed connectivity between these two regions. Using diffusion tensor imaging (see post of August 31st 2009), Craig and colleagues found that a measure of the integrity of the axonal tract connecting these two regions, called the uncinate fasciculus, was significantly reduced in sociopaths. Importantly, connectivity of these regions to other parts of the brain was normal. These data thus suggest a specific disruption of the network connecting orbitofrontal cortex and amygdala in psychopaths, the degree of which correlated strongly with the subjects’ scores on the psychopathy checklist.

All of these findings are pointing to a picture of sociopathy as an innate, genetically driven difference in connectivity between parts of the brain that normally drive empathy, conscience and impulse control. Not a fault necessarily, and not something that could be classified as a disease or that is always a disadvantage. At a certain frequency in the population, the traits of sociopathy may be highly advantageous to the individual.

This conclusion has serious ethical and legal implications. Could a sociopath mount a legal defense by saying “my brain made me do it”? Or my “genes made me do it”? Is this any different from saying my rotten childhood made me do it? Sociopaths know right from wrong – they just don’t care. That is what society calls “bad”, not “mad”. But if they are constitutionally incapable of caring, can they really be blamed for it? On the other hand, if violent sociopaths are a continuing danger to society and completely refractory to rehabilitation, what is to be done with them? Perhaps, as has been proposed in the UK, people with the extreme sociopathic personality profile (or maybe in the near future even a specific genetic profile?) should be monitored or segregated even before they commit a crime. While it is crucial that these debates are informed by good science, these issues have no clear-cut answers. They will be resolved on a pragmatic basis, weighing the behaviour that society is willing to tolerate versus the rights of the individual, whatever their brains look like, to define their own moral standards."  Simple enough?

(Craig, M., Catani, M., Deeley, Q., Latham, R., Daly, E., Kanaan, R., Picchioni, M., McGuire, P., Fahy, T., & Murphy, D. (2009). Altered connections on the road to psychopathy Molecular Psychiatry, 14 (10), 946-953 DOI: 10.1038/mp.2009.40)

GOOD DEFINITION OF ANTI-SOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER (SOCIOPATH)

Antisocial personality disorder

Socioathic personality; Sociopathy; Personality disorder - antisocial

Antisocial personality disorder is a mental health condition in which a person has a long-term pattern of manipulating, exploiting, or violating the rights of others. This behavior is often criminal.

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

The causes of antisocial personality disorder are unknown. Genetic factors and child abuse are believed to contribute to the development of this condition. People with an antisocial or alcoholic parent are at increased risk. Far more men than women are affected. The condition is common in people who are in prison.

Symptoms

A person with antisocial personality disorder may:

• Be able to act witty and charming
• Be good at flattery and manipulating other people's emotions
• Break the law repeatedly
• Disregard the safety of self and others
• Have problems with substance abuse(most notably alcohol)
• Lie, steal, and fight often
• Not show guilt or remorse
• Often be angry or arrogant
• Moves frequently
• Poor or no attainable plans for the future 
• Frequent use of alias

Signs and tests

Like other personality disorders, antisocial personality disorder is diagnosed based on a psychological evaluation and the history and severity of symptoms.

Treatment

Antisocial personality disorder is one of the most difficult personality disorders to treat. People with this condition rarely seek treatment on their own. They may only start therapy when required to by a court.
The effectiveness of treatment for antisocial personality disorder is not known. Treatments that show the person the negative consequences of illegal behavior seem to hold the most promise.

Expectations (prognosis)

Symptoms tend to peak during the late teenage years and early 20s.

Complications

Complications can include imprisonment, drug abuse, violence, strained family relationships, inability to maintain employment, multiple hospitalizations and suicide.

 

A LOOK AT BIPOLAR DISORDER.

What is Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar disorder is a chronic illness with recurring episodes of mania and depression that can last from one day to months. This mental illness causes unusual and dramatic shifts in mood, energy and the ability to think clearly. Cycles of high (manic) and low (depressive) moods may follow an irregular pattern that differs from the typical ups and downs experienced by most people. The symptoms of bipolar disorder can have a negative impact on a person’s life. Damaged relationships or a decline in job or school performance are potential effects, but positive outcomes are possible.
Two main features characterize people who live with bipolar disorder: intensity and oscillation (ups and downs). People living with bipolar disorder often experience two intense emotional states. These two states are known as mania and depression. A manic state can be identified by feelings of extreme irritability and/or euphoria, along with several other symptoms during the same week such as agitation, surges of energy, reduced need for sleep, talkativeness, pleasure-seeking and increased risktaking behavior. On the other side, when an individual experiences symptoms of depression they feel extremely sad, hopeless and loss of energy. Not everyone’s symptoms are the same and the severity of mania and depression can vary.
More than 10 million Americans have bipolar disorder. Because of its irregular patterns, bipolar disorder is often hard to diagnose. Although the illness can occur at any point in life, more than one-half of all cases begin between ages 15-25. Bipolar disorder affects men and women equally.

What Does Recovery Look Like?

As people become familiar with their illness, they recognize their own unique patterns of behavior. If individuals recognize these signs and seek effective and timely care, they can often prevent relapses. But because bipolar disorder has no cure, treatment must be continuous.
Individuals who live with bipolar disorder also benefit tremendously from taking responsibility for their own recovery. Once the illness is adequately managed, one must monitor potential side effects.
The notion of recovery involves a variety of perspectives. Recovery is a holistic process that includes traditional elements of physical health and aspects that extend beyond medication. Recovery from serious mental illness also includes attaining, and maintaining, physical health as another cornerstone of wellness.
The recovery journey is unique for each individual. There are several definitions of recovery; some grounded in medical and clinical values, some grounded in context of community and successful living. One of the most important principles of recovery is this: recovery is a process, not an event. The uniqueness and individual nature of recovery must be honored. While serious mental illness impacts individuals in many challenging ways, the concept that all individuals can move towards wellness is paramount.
Bipolar disorder presents a special challenge because its manic, or hypomania, stages can be seductive. People with bipolar disorder may be afraid to seek treatment because they are afraid that they will feel flat, less capable or less creative. These fears must be weighed against the benefits of getting and staying well. A person may feel good while manic but may make choices that could seriously damage relationships, finances, health, home life or job prospects.
It is very common for people living with bipolar disorder to want to discontinue their medication because of side effects or because it has been a long time since the last episode of illness. However, it should be remembered that the progress one has attained is reliant upon continuing to take medication.

Sociopaths are very egocentric

Sociopaths are very egocentric individuals that lack a sense of personal responsibility and morality.
 "...They may be impulsive, manipulative, reckless, quarrelsome, and consistent liars."
Sociopaths are usually unable to sustain relationships and have a total lack of remorse for their actions AND may also be very prone to aggressive, hostile, and sometimes violent behavior.
This aggression may or may not lead to criminal behavior and often takes the form
of domestic violence. Along with these other actions, sociopaths often engage
in self-destructive behavior such as alcoholism or addiction to drugs.  This, of course, usually worsens many aspects of the sociopathic behavior. Despite these previous symptoms, the sociopath may be an excellent actor, always appearing charming, calm, and collected. They usually have a normal or above normal intelligence level and good verbal fluency. It is these qualities that sometimes place he sociopath in leadership positions within their social groups and often make it hard to spot their "black side." 

An individual who is antisocial because he breaks SOCIAL NORMS which either land him in legal trouble, or result in his exploitation and abuse of others at their expense for his or her personal gain. Sociopaths generally have a criminal record and they often have a few key traits:

• They are extremely charming, manipulative, conning as they can lie and lure people, acting as their friends and then hurting them later on.
• They have less guilt or remorse due to heavy abuse, lack of concience, low serotonin levels in the brain and often acting out their whole life as a normal person when they really see people as pawns on the chessboard.
• They are compulsive liars and will say what they believe the victim wishes to hear.
• They above all deny they are at fault.  The issues in their life is always someone else's fault.
• They are often sneaky, secretive and clandestine in their persona. They hide behind fake names and often highly cryptic in their communication. They will portray themselves through social media in a pseudo-intelligent and philosphical manner. (will copy and paste lyrics to little known songs or poetry by other not known amateur poets as if it was original thought).
• Many have explosive tempers, bouts of anger and no impulse control. Theyabuse alcohol, illicit drugs, pornography and frequent strip joints and rough bars where they will throw their fist in a split second over little things. 
• They are aggresive. They will stalk, predatorize and pursue their goals very extensively, manipulating people and situations.  They will maintain that they "answer to no one" or "fear not for themselves". 
• Once their facade is seen through and they are "figured out" they will say disparging and hostile remarks as well as making threats toward public humilation or personal safety especialy when they are angered..  They attempt to dominate things and bully others to get what they want.   
• They respect no boundaries socially or morally.  They will work hard to break up a marriage simply to say they did.  However, Sociopaths are highly promiscuious thus  have severe trouble in relationships.  One reason is they lose interest quickly once they have accomplished the "conquest" and the other reason is that the other person quickly begins to see the psychological impairment whether through the lying or through violence.
• Sociopaths will have a history of failed relationships (divorce) and if children involved, due to their poor sense of responsibility, have a poor history of providing support for the children (financially, emotionally and physically).   
• The sociopath has difficulty in maintaining employment due to their disrespect for boundaries and authority.  They have a long list of meanial jobs and many choose to live "off the system" through social welfare, prison, or false disability. 

Simply, sociopaths believe that they are doing nothing wrong or doing something extremely good, due to their egocentricity and grandiose sense of self-worth.  This to justify their cold-bloodedly acquiring what they want and to do as they please at the expense of others.  They are predators who satisfy their lust for power and control through superficial charm, manipulation, intimidation, and violence.  Exposing and avoiding them is the best way to disarm them and prevent harm to others. 

MAPPING THE CYCLES

It's interesting to watch from a distance the cycle that one particular sociopath with dx bipolar disorder that I am familiar engages. He will disappear into which characteristically meets a depressive state during which he has been hospitalized numerous times throughout his life. Then he cycles as expected of one who refuses treatment and is adamant that he is normal with no issues to his hypo/hyper manic phase. During this he is more visible, arrogant and boasterous. This is the time which the sociopath characteristics really become evident. His search for control is focused entirely on relationships with the opposite sex. So the pattern that indicates his psychiatric status is his attempt to appear as a romantic in different public forums such as Facebook. He will steal little known song lyrics and amateur poet submissions to play off as his own with intent to manipulate and snare unsuspecting and in most cases psychologically impaired females.
An impairment has to exist in those he attracts because he is overweight, an alcoholic, chain smoker, has a long legal history, Has no measurable employment and no ambition other than to appear more than what he actually is. From females I have been in contact which were fooled by his facade, the damage he inflicted is still present. It's amazing people can be so foolish and others can be so ignorant. Definitely interesting to have him figured out and hope others do as well as to avoid the damage a relationship with him will bring.  There is no intelligence in his actions or existence.  He is incapable to admit their lack of respect and the inability to learn (as are most sociopaths) from his mistakes and even more telling is his refusal to acknowledge boundaries and refrain from incroaching them.

Misery- toddler mind... Adult body!

I lay here tonight with my wife's head on my chest, in well deserved bliss, as we listen to the crash of the ocean's breaking waves. Our legs are intertwined as I feel her smooth skin pressing against me. She is at the edge of deep sleep as both our heart rates have slowed, breathing again normal and only a slight film of moisture remains coating our skin following our sharing of each other.
My mind is at peace but always processing, analytically, different facets of this life. I am drawn this night to once again the misery people find themselves, which is the exact opposite of where I and my wife find ourselves, and the lengths they will reach not to alleviate their misery but rather drag others to their same level. Misery indeed does love company. Fact is whether they find themselves miserable in life through their own stupidity or due to mental illness, the things they perceive will change their miserable existence is generally another false step that stands to cause another person to fall into their pit of despair. They attempt to force those that are happy to take ownership of their misery! It's interesting that all that are miserable claim the victim role in life. Their misery is always the fault of someone else. Their thought process is simply psychotic! You commit a crime(society has established guidelines and definitions of actions that make right and wrong simple to understand) then accountability is expected. You knew your actions were unacceptable but you went through with it anyway.. That does not make you a victim! It makes you a perpetrator. Boundaries exist in every facet of life. Some to protect you, some to protect others but no matter they exist to protect from harm. If someone crosses a boundary and comes to some harm, whose fault is it? The one who crossed it is to blame and when the harm(consequences) are experienced they are getting what they knew could happen so in no way can they remotely claim to be a victim. I understand fully however that in the case of the presence of a mental illness, they have decreased intellectual capacity that impedes their ability to understand that their misery in life is a direct consequence of their many delusional choices in attempt to escape their misery by making someone else as or more miserable than themselves. In such a case, the person they "bring down" is truly the victim. Sociopaths are prime examples- they enjoy the "chase", the "game" of controlling the life of another. The sociopath is so miserable that the only way they can experience any satisfaction is participating in and seeing someone else hate life more than they. They are incapable of respecting boundaries as evidenced in broken relationships, legal issues and difficulty in functioning to make a living. Once someone sees through their game and calls them to accountability, the sociopath will "beat their chest", threaten, belittle, proclaim to be innocent and play the role of the victim! The sociopath is useless. Their biochemical imbalance, even through many hospitalizations (Dorthea Dix for example), he/she remains a lost cause and a continued waste of tax payer money for regardless of treatment- (medication, ECT, CBT, etc) their life will always be miserable, they will continue to make bad decisions that will be caught by stable and intelligent individuals. Those individuals (legal or private) will call the sociopath to accountability through negative consequences and again the sociopath will attempt to manipulate others to see him/her as the victim! This process will continue over the entire course of his/her life because of their lack mental capacity to take ownership of the mess they call their life. Forever they will be toddlers in adult bodies and a drain on society. I personally know of a couple for which there is no hope. What a miserable life they have made for themselves but frankly they deserve all the misery!