Low Self Esteem and Destructive Behavior

Many people who have bipolar disorder struggle with low self-esteem. Early experiences can greatly impact the outlook we have about ourselves. Abuse, neglect, and abandonment can influence self-esteem throughout our lives. Being harshly criticized, being ignored, ridiculed, or teased, being expected to be "perfect" all the time either at home or at school can affect self-esteem. Low self-esteem can also come from inconsistent or critical parenting. People with low self-esteem were often given messages that failed experiences (losing a game, getting a poor grade, etc.) were failures of their whole self.
While things in our childhood may affect how we view ourselves, an experience later in life may also be the cause. Often those with a physical disability or mental illness -including bipolar disorder - feel as if they are lacking in some way or don't measure up.Some people do not believe they are likeable, pretty, or successful. Even when given positive information, they still see the negatives in themselves. It becomes a never-ending cycle. Low self-esteem can also affect relationships if one depends greatly on the other to maintain their self-image.Some Signs of Low Self-Esteem

• Self-consciousness
• Shyness
• Over-sensitivity
• Feelings of rejection
• Inability to make decisions
• Attacking others or their character
• Attention seeking
• Aggression

 Other signs and behaviors that can indicate self-esteem problems:

• Pride
  If one is genuinely self-confident, there is no need for pride; only an empty balloon can be "blown up." To cover up their own insecurity, a fair amount of people act out pride, as if they are better than others, but only because they lack self-confidence.
  
• Improper humility
  Regarding oneself not as equal to others, but as less than others. Humility is a positive quality as it avoids pride and is other-centered, often driven by active compassion for others. Lack of self-confidence however, is often self-centered (feeling sorry for oneself and looking for excuses to not change your own situation) and it paralyzes you from doing positive actions.
  
• Idolizing people
  Overestimating others is based on - or will easily lead to - underestimating oneself.

Low self-esteem reduces your chances of success in life. It can create anxiety, stress, loneliness and increased likelihood for depression. No matter how badly you want to reach a goal, low self-esteem will hold you back every time. When you don't value yourself and lack self-esteem, it will work against you and undermine you. If you do not believe in yourself, who will? Worst of all, these negative consequences themselves reinforce the negative self-image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower and lower self-esteem and increasingly non-productive or even actively self-destructive behavior.

Individuals who suffer bi-polar disorder and ASPD battle with issues of low self-esteem.  This leads them to engage in self-destructive choices especially involving relationships. All individuals who are or have been involved in extra-marital affairs have low self-esteem, specifically the unmarried participant.  In one particular case, a man whom for the purpose of this illustration will  be called Dan, has low self esteem, actively seeks relationships in bars or who are married.  He presents himself as very self confident and is perceived to have a big ego and over time reveals himself to be very arrogant. It is important to note that Dan is bipolar and has ASPD.  The disorders have led him to make extremely destructive decisions over the course of his life resulting in a long legal/arrest history, broken marriage and family, inability to maintain employment.  Actually his ego and arrogance is a self defense mechanism due to the little boy on the inside who doesn't feel good about himself. He seeks outside of himself for validation of his worthiness, attractiveness and sexual prowess. He is addicted to that validation and will always be that way unless he goes through significant psychotherapy, usually for a period of years.  Dan chooses to target women in bars because they are generally less inhibited or intoxicated due to alcohol consumption thus more gullible to his dishonesty and unable to pick up on his aberrhant behavior.  When they target married women and actually consumate the relationship, it is truly in attempt to validate to themselves that they are  worthy. Reality is that in their choice to seek a relationship with another that is committed to someone else just proves that he is unable and unworthy to have a normal relationship and will be so until counseling is sought to overcome his psychiatric issues.  Dan however has had numerous psyciatric hospital admissions over his lifetime to no avail due to his arrogance which impedes his awareness that he has a problem.  Healthy and stable individuals need not look for a relationship in bars nor will they seek a relationship with someone in a committed relationship.  Healthy and stable individuals realize that you only find one thing in bars(sex) and that messing with a married individual can lead to physical harm and even death.  Truth be told, people want someone to share their lives with that is committed to them.  A person cant be committed to two.  People in their right mind know this and will not accept anything less.