A ROSE IS A ROSE IS A ROSE

Words that describe infidelity are marital disloyalty, unfaithfulness, a breach of trust, adultery, etc. It doesn’t specify that it is emotional or physical, but traditionally people believed that cheating was a physical betrayal.  Can you be cheating on your partner if it isn’t physical? Would you say that finding an email from your husband to another woman telling her intimate things about himself and showing interest in her would be considered a breach of trust? I definitely say so.

According to Cathy Meyer, a Certified Divorce Coach and Marriage Educator, there is a difference between a physical affair and an emotional affair.

The primary difference between a physical affair and an emotional affair is actual, physical contact. Usually, cheating involves people meeting face – to - face, and then engaging in physical intimacy. With an emotional affair, there may be a meeting, but it can occur on a cell phone or a computer and there is no physical intimacy. Many of the people who are emotionally cheating don’t consider it to be infidelity. Their thinking is that, because there is no actual physical contact, the behavior can’t be considered cheating.  The end result is that the unfaithful spouse is paying more emotional attention to someone other than their partner, and they are removing themselves from the commitment they made to their marriage.

Could an emotional affair lead into a physical affair? According to Meyer, it can.
An emotional affair begins with the exchange of personal information. As the people involved get acquainted, the information becomes more personal. Some argue that an emotional affair is harmless because it is more of a casual relationship than traditional cheating; however, the intimate nature of the communication, plus the emotional investment made by the people involved, places an emotional affair on the same level or worse as traditional cheating.  It is much more dangerous for a marriage should your spouse connect with someone emotionally than physically. Anyone who finds himself or herself drawn to another person on an emotional level should consider the possible consequences of such an affair. Emotional affairs are just as likely to lead to divorce and physical affairs.

 While it is healthy and normal for people to have friendships outside the marriage with men and women, an emotional affair threatens the emotional bond between spouses. Friendships are based on attraction, in that we are drawn to various qualities of our friends. Healthy friendships and attractions don't need to threaten a marriage at all, but add richness and enjoyment to life. When an attraction turns into an obsession or into an affair, it can become harmful to everyone involved and nothing is more harmful to a marriage than the breakdown of the emotional bond marital partners have for each other.  To violate trust in a marriage can be both physical and emotional. Something that may start off as innocent can quickly lead into something that could end up ending your marriage.   When you have to hide anything from your husband or wife you know you are playing with fire so why even put yourself through it?  Its pointless.