Social Media and Marriages

What makes us vulnerable to social media relationships? With social media affairs being a rising number in divorce cases, what is it about these social media relationships that make us drawn to them?

There are six reasons why sites such as Facebook or Twitter make us vulnerable:

 

1. Quick Response: The instant gratification of online access allows rapid reinforcement of

                                  behavior, which causes emotions to drive the process rather than our rational

                                  self.

 

2. Accessibility: The Internet provides access to people we would never rub elbows with in our

                            normal life.

 

3. The Online Disinhibition Effect: Due to the invisibility provided by the Internet, people are less

                                                           inhibited and will say or do things online they would

                                                           never speak or do to someone in person.

 

4. Anonymity: Not being known or known but not seen for years by the other party allows an

                         individual to role play whatever personality or life story they can imagine. It's a

                         powerful drug to have others respond to you as the person you've always wanted to

                         be.

5. Affordability: People think that if it's not hurting anyone, then there's no harm. The fact that there

                             seems to be no apparent cost associated with the behavior (either financially or

                             relationally) makes it seem more acceptable.

6. The Illusion of Secrecy: This allows for self-gratification. People think that no one will know

                                             they are living a secret life and fulfilling their fantasies while living as a

                                             married person.

If you see yourself attracted to any of these examples while online and you are married, you may want to take a step back and reevaluate your situation before you make a big mistake.

As divorce rates rise, specifically those related to relationships started or lost relationships rekindled due to the accessibility via Social Media, it is obvious that the illusion of secrecy is just that.... an illusion.  Whether in person or through the internet, real emotions can develop and lead to a physical relationship outside of one's marriage. 

Equally as damaging is the Emotional Infidelity that comes from the online disinhibition effect and quick response.  A married individual should NEVER share problems with their spouse or intimate thoughts with another through any mode of communication.  When one makes the conscious decision to marry another, their spouse should be granted EXCLUSIVITY meaning intimate thoughts and fantasies are to be shared ONLY with them.  As adults and partners any and all problems should be discussed between the husband and wife, not parents, friends, online chat partners, etc. 

Social Media is the playground for predators who target unsuspecting and vulnerable people.  These predators all have one thing in common.... They have been unable to maintain effective, respectful and loving relationships in their lives and they thrive in the anonymity of the internet because they can fabricate their ideal life and be whom they wish to be (which in many instances is exactly opposite of how they actually are in "real" life).  It is ashame that so many lives are destroyed and so much pain is caused because of misuse of social media.