UH OH!!! DANGER WILL ROBINSON.

How do you know if your online behaviors are nearing dangerous?
• You hesitate before friending this person
• You're more committed to checking your email
• Getting away from a computer or mobile device is more difficult than working a Rubik's cube.
• You're far more open with your online "friend" than with your mate.
• You lock your mobile device and computer tighter than Fort Knox to assure your mate doesn't invade
   your privacy.
• Meeting face-to-face seems like a better idea then talking online and your are making plans to meet.
• Time spent with your online "friend" exceeds time spent with family or work.
• Wondering what your "friend" is doing becomes your primary past time.
• Either of you expresses feelings for the other person.
• Your attraction for your "friend" exceeds your attraction for your mate.
• If either of you say, "this may be inappropriate, we need to slow down." When that happens, you don't
   need to cut back, you need to cut it off because you've become addicted to that person.

What to do if an online relationship has become a problem:
• Do what is necessary to terminate the relationship or behavior. The gradual process is of no use at
   all. Cut it off !
If you find you can't stop it, then get help either from a professional counselor, pastor, or 12-step books.
                                              Do whatever it takes to get disentangled!!!!!!!!!!• Do the work to discover what it was that made you vulnerable in the first place and what made
  your marriage vulnerable.
• Tell your spouse what's going on, but don't blame your spouse.

• Bad marriages don't cause this, bad choices do.
• Take personal responsibility.
• Realize your spouse will be upset, but they need to know you're choosing them over the behavior or person.

• Work on healing and growing your marriage.

• Trust must be re-established and as time progresses it will return.
• It's important.....Paramount to be 100% honest and truthful even when your spouse asks questions that you know will be painful.
• Transparency is the key- to rebuild trust it is important that action in your day that can be perceived as an opportunity to communicate with the "friend" is shown/discussed with your spouse. 
• COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR SPOUSE but do so understanding that they have been deeply hurt by the one person that, in their minds, should NEVER hurt them.  If you love your spouse and know that the relationship with the "friend" was a mistake and not what you want for your future then take responsibility, discuss, prove, love and live.